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Living, loving, laughing, and learning in the new New Orleans
Apr 1, 2011
12:00 AM
Joie d'Eve

Not Myself

Apr 1, 2011 - 12:00 AM
Not Myself

Photo courtesy of Elizabeth Underwood

I feel like I should have a sign that I wear everywhere that says: “My best friend fell into the Mississippi River last week. Please don’t expect me to be normal right now.”

I don’t normally stare blankly off into space. I don’t normally burst into tears at random. I don’t normally take my daughter to the police station at 9 on a Saturday night. I don’t normally let her leave the house in one of my T-shirts with unbrushed hair. I don’t normally let her disassemble the toy aisle of Walgreen’s while I talk to reporters on my cell phone. I don’t normally stop at green lights, blinking with surprise when they turn yellow and I realize what I’ve done.

I’d forgotten how all-consuming grief can be. I’ve done this before; I should know how it goes and that it will get better. But it’s hard to believe that now. I had a horrible bout of food poisoning last year, and at one point, sprawled on the bathroom floor, my head resting on the bathmat, I told myself: “This isn’t going to last forever. You will feel better. You will eat again.” That’s kind of how I feel right now. I know it’s going to get better, but right now, emotionally, I’m lying on the bathroom floor.

I don’t have much more to say right now, but I wanted to get the word out about three things.

1. There will be a second-line for Jim this Sunday at 2 p.m. from Mimi’s in the Marigny to the Country Club on Louisa Street. Hot 8 Brass Band will be playing. The weather should be nice, and all of his friends are welcome.

2. Several people have reached out to me to ask how they can help. If you feel moved to do so, you can donate to a PayPal fund that has been set up for Jim’s 7-year-old daughter here.

3. Texas EquuSearch is an amazing organization. Please find out more about them and the incredible work they do, and if you can donate, please do. Several media outlets reported that EquuSearch was hired by Jim’s family; that is simply not true. They are an all-volunteer nonprofit agency, and everyone involved with them is a true hero.

Reader Comments:
Old to new | New to old
Apr 1, 2011 02:19 pm
 Posted by  nfithian

I would like to mail a check to you but need the address. I am not able to get through the PAYPAL thing to make a donation for Jim. While I did not know him, I am so sorry for the lack of care and concern by officials in the city, police, etc. I am not from New Orleans but it has my heart. My son, Spencer Minch, Chef de Cuisine at Delmonico's, always sends me wonderful information about the city and I feel drawn to it. Please let me know who to make the check to and where to mail it. Nancy Fithian

Apr 1, 2011 09:18 pm
 Posted by  Anonymous

I am so sorry for your loss.I always read your column and find you such a lovely and giving person
Pattie

Apr 1, 2011 11:19 pm
 Posted by  Anonymous

You've had a rough year, Eve. Hang in there.

Apr 4, 2011 03:00 am
 Posted by  Julie Wyatt, Los Angeles, CA

You indeed have. I had no idea all of the things you have been through lately, I'm sad to report, even though I know we're on Facebook and we know people in common....(people who aren't speaking to me right now, but that's another story for another time). You have been one of my favorite people since the moment I met you, and that was 10yrs ago (really! Remember?). I think you're amazing, and when I grow up, I'd like to have your sense of grammar, gravity and grooviness. Please, even though we haven't been close, if you need anything, don't hesitate to call, even if it's just "I need someone to listen who won't judge." I'm 3 hours behind you, so it doesn't even matter what time it is. Much love.

Apr 16, 2011 08:35 pm
 Posted by  Anonymous

When I see your friend I also see myself in many ways. Because of your inspiring article about him I am going to make it a habit to donate from time to time the people at Texas EquuSearch. Even though your friend wasn't famous or well known he and others like him are who I call the "everyday people", the ones that truly make up communities and neighborhoods alike. God bless his soul.

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About This Blog

Eve is further proof, if any is needed, that New Orleans girls can never escape the city. After living here since the age of 3 and graduating from Ben Franklin High School, Eve moved to Columbia, Mo., where she received bachelor’s and master’s degrees from the Missouri School of Journalism and became truly, unhealthily obsessed with grammar.

She had originally intended to strike out to New York City and work in the cutthroat magazine industry there, but after Katrina, Eve felt a strong pull to return home, to her roots, her family, her waterlogged and struggling city – and a much more forgiving work atmosphere that would allow her to skip a routine of everyday makeup and size 0 designer label business suits and enjoy the occasional cocktail or three with an absurdly fattening lunch. She moved back home in January 2008 and lives in Mid-City with her daughter, Ruby, 5; her 10-year-old stepson; and her husband, Robert Peyton. She and Robert are expecting their first child together, a daughter, in May 2012. 

In addition to serving as the editor of New Orleans Homes & Lifestyles and the managing editor of Louisiana Life and Acadiana Profile, Eve blogs about the joys and struggles of living in post-Katrina New Orleans, the unique problems and delights of raising a child in such a diverse and challenging city – including her experiences with the public education system – and her always entertaining and extremely colorful family.

Eve has won numerous writing awards, including the Pirates Alley Faulkner Society Gold Medal, the Society of Professional Journalists Mark of Excellence award for column-writing and Press Club of New Orleans awards for her Editor’s Note in New Orleans Homes & Lifestyles and for this blog.

She welcomes comments, advice, empty flattery, recipes, drink invitations and – most especially – grammatical or linguistic debates.

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