'Duck Dynasty' Recap: Quack-O-Lantern

Season 4 Finale

Courtesy of A&E

This week's "Duck Dynasty" was both the season finale and the Halloween episode. The episode begins with Willie trying to pull a prank on the fellas by acting like he cut a finger off. None of them are amused. I have a feeling they'd react the same way even if he had actually cut a finger off. Korie comes in to announce that since it's Halloween they're going to turn the warehouse into the "scarehouse" for all the trick-or-treaters, who I'm pretty sure are just all of the Robertsons' kids and maybe some of their friends.

I wonder when they really filmed this, if it was actually filmed last year during Halloween or if they just gathered up some people during the summer, put on some costumes, and acted like it was late October for a day. Probably the latter.

Willie says that two of his favorite things are candy and scaring children. That sounds kind of creepy. He also says that he has costume ideas for everyone and Jase is like, "No way. Real men don't wear costumes." And this is one of those rare instances where I have to disagree with Jase. Anyone can rock a costume. I might have to agree with Willie's objection to couples' costumes, though; they can be pretty bad. On Halloween you always see some poor guy with a sad look on his face who was roped into a bad couple's costume.

Like this guy:

Although, Korie's idea of Cleopatra and Mark Antony could have been cool. Willie in some Roman gear or a toga would be pretty funny .

Over at Phil and Kay's house, they're getting ready for trick-or-treating by carving pumpkins and telling stories. Phil says that he's not really all that into Halloween because it's a Pagan holiday but as long as there are cupcakes he can deal for a few days. I hate to break it to Phil, but most of the major holidays are Pagan in origin. Christmas is Pagan and Easter is Pagan. Though I think the Fourth of July is safe.

Back at the "scarehouse," Jase says that the "Halloween" movies are the scariest. There's nothing like a man in a mask and a butcher knife to frighten you. Godwin says that he watches it with his eyes closed. Hehe. I love Godwin.

Si is most afraid of the "Freddy Cougar" movies (he seems to be obsessed with cougars), because he comes to get you when you're asleep and Si sleeps a lot. That actually is pretty scary. Also scary? Ghost Shark on SyFy. The shark comes to get you when you're wet. I feel like they should do a mash-up movie: Freddy vs. Ghost Shark. It's brilliant. SyFy, you're welcome.

Jep chimes in that his favorite scary movie is Ghost and everyone just kind of laughs but I am totally with Jep on this one. When I was little, I loved Patrick Swayze movies but whenever I watched Ghost I had to close my eyes when those shadow demons came out of the ground to take Willie Lopez away after he died. And I had to put my fingers in my ears, too, because of the moaning sounds they made along with Willie's screams. Freaked me the hell out! If I watched it today I'd probably have to do the same thing.

As the day progresses and they start to build things, Si attempts to do the "Thriller dance" and he's actually not doing a bad job, though as Jase points out, it's more like half "Thriller" and half "The Twist." At the end of the day they've got an electric chair room, a zombie room, a room with a guy and a chainsaw, and a swamp room with Si in a beaver costume. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I'd probably go from screaming and running away from the chainsaw to laughing hysterically at Si as a big beaver.

In the end, Willie gets his Halloween wish and gets to scare one or two kids with his Freddy Krueger costume and later Jase gets him from under the table as he's trying to score some candy.

So that wraps up Season 4. I'll see you in December for the Duck Dynasty Christmas special, until then have a happy Halloween and be sure to heed Whoopi Goldberg's warning in Ghost if you fall asleep with Freddy Cougar on the loose ...

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