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2016, you've got some explaining to do.
I'm not the biggest fan of summer; though I feel like I should enjoy it more than I do. After all, it's a season that everyone looks forward to. Summer is filled with beaches and grilling, it brings to mind fireworks and days off from school. It's vacation time.
I'm not sure why I never cared for the summer months, perhaps because I've never been a fan of summer clothes, and much prefer jeans and hoodies over shorts and tank tops. There's just something so much cozier about the fall and its wardrobe and I've always been a fan of comfort.
But this year, I found myself desperately hanging on to August, even though it's probably my least favorite month. Next to January, that is. It just felt like the summer moved so fast and now that Labor Day has passed, and it's official. Autumn is here. According to companies trying to market their fall/winter products, that is. All the summer clothes are somewhere on a clearance rack, even though it's still plenty hot out there. We, the humans, say that it's autumn, but nature still needs to catch up. And funnily enough, I'm still with nature at the moment, as I don't really want the summer to be over. It just feels like it all went too fast. The whole year of 2016 seems to be going by too fast. And normally, that wouldn't be a problem considering that 2016 has honestly been kind of a shitty year. And I don't necessarily mean personally, but as a whole, 2016 has been seriously disappointing. It's even become a joke on the internet.
is Quentin Tarantino directing 2016?
— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) July 8, 2016
I mean, how can it not? Most of us are basically just laughing nervously, wondering if there's some big cosmic joke being played on us. In all honestly, I'm still not convinced that Donald Trump is the actual Republican candidate from the Presidential election. Even though he accepted the nomination at the convention. I'm still expecting someone to say, "haha just kidding! You've been punked!" I feel like I'm living in a twilight zone. Everyone does, or at least anyone with a firm foot in reality. For us, the fabric of reality is being torn. Even five years ago, if someone would have told me that Hilary would be running against Donald Trump, I'd have thought, "sure sure, move along crazypants, no way in hell that's happening – not even republicans are going to let that happen."
Damn. We're being punked, y'all. I'm just not sure by who. Though I'm not unconvinced that it's somehow aliens.
Who's responsible for 2016?
Aliens. After all, they're probably too smart to actually destroy the whole planet with a hostile invasion, so they're probably destroying us from the inside.
Just think about what we've all endured so far this year. Not only is the USA a laughing stock to the world, but that whole "Brexit" thing that went down? It's the only thing we have now. We can say, "well, things are pretty bad here, but at least we didn't do that." Good job, U.K. Also, we keep losing legends, and I can't lose another one after David Bowie, Prince, Gene Wilder and Alan Rickman. Seriously, someone better protect Keith Richards at all costs, because I can't handle another passing for a while. And not only that, but we might as well just keep all of our flags at half-mast seeing as how there's a mass shooting every week. Also, "Suicide Squad" was just not that great of a movie. After two years of hype, they gave us that. So thanks again, D.C. Comics, for turning something that could have been amazing into something entirely mediocre.
All of this is basically why I'm not ready to let go of a season completely, I'm still waiting for 2016 to get better. I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt. At this point, we have four months. That's it, four months to come up with something that will salvage an entire year.
So September? I have my eye on you. Please treat us better than the rest of the year has.