1. Never go picnicking near a geyser. This will probably only be of concern if your picnic is Yellowstone Park, which is all the more reason why it’s better to picnic locally. Still, there are some cautions:

2. Never picnic on the levee’s batture when the Bonnet Carré Spillway is open. This only happens about every decade or so, but if you insist on picnicking at that time, best bring your scuba gear.

3. Never pack bottles of Regal beer. There was nothing wrong with Regal beer, which was made in New Orleans, but since they stopped brewing it about 50 years ago, what you have left over might not pass the freshness test.

4. Never go swimming in the swamp when that alligator hunter guy is around. Most of all, avoid the phrase “choot ’em.”

5. Never picnic where there are vultures circling. They might just know something that you don’t.

6. Never spread out sheets of The Times-Picayune to eat crawfish on. The pages will be collectors’ items one day.

7. Never pack a bowling ball for the kids. They will just want to stare at their iPhones anyway.

7 Don’ts for a Perfect Picnic

Party Cup’s Funky Accessories
Party Cup Express New Orleans, 121 Industrial Ave., (800) 299-4332, PartyCupExpress.com

Party Cup Express offers themed accessories such as cups, napkins and koozies. Browse the company’s website to see all the funky designs they offer for every kind of get-together. If you want something totally unique, use their custom service, as they can personalize all kinds of party items.

With design and printing in-house, they can also deliver quickly. If you are looking for a special gift, their website has a range of serving dishes and glassware that might just hit the right celebratory note.

7 Don’ts for a Perfect Picnic

Breakthrough Sun Protection
Academic Dermatology Associates, 3421 N. Causeway Blvd., Suite 202, Metairie, 832-6612

Sun protection is an everyday necessity That is why it’s great to hear about two new developments available now from Academic Dermatology Associates in Metairie. First up, from Helio, maker of a prestigious line of sunscreens, comes a dietary supplement that extends sun protection from the inside, to be used in conjunction with topical sunscreens. Next from ColorScience there’s “Sunforgettable SPF 30” – a mineral powder that provides safe, instant UVA and UVB sun protection that you apply with a self-dispensing powder brush. The five board-certified dermatologists who lead the practice are available for advice and a full range of dermatologic services.

– Mirella cameran