A Breakup

So, Metairie; I heard the news. Houston’s is leaving. Leaving to focus more attention on the St. Charles Ave. location. To me, that sounds a lot like, “Listen, Metairie, this has been great. You’re great. It’s just not working out. Really, though, it’s not you, it’s us.”

Listen, Metairie, I’m going to give you the straight up truth. Houston’s was never that into you, and you deserve better.

I know what you’re thinking. Houston’s had dark wood paneling, friendly servers and so much brass around the bar.

Then there was the Chicago-style spinach dip. Newsflash, Metairie, Houston’s has been making that same Chicago-style spinach dip for New Orleans for years. I heard they’ve even been making that spinach and artichoke dip for Houston, for God’s sake. Maybe even Atlanta.

I totally understand why you’re hurt. You could go there any time you wanted and order the Caesar Salad, or the double-cut pork chop, and everyone was nice to you and Houston’s made you a wicked martini, too. It was comfortable, and everyone loves to be comfortable, Metairie.

But sometimes we need to be taken out of our comfort zone; maybe we should take a ride on a highway to the danger zone, Metairie. Metairie, I will take you right into the danger zone – because I love you.

Uh, no, not like that. Sorry.  

My point, Metairie, is that you have a lot going on. You are smart and funny and if you’d just get a haircut you’d be super-cute too.

You can do better than Houston’s, Metairie. Houston’s doesn’t know what it’s missing. I know you loved Houston’s, Metairie, but to be completely honest, the rest of us never really saw it.

And you know what, Metairie? There are other fish in the sea. It’s a big-ass sea, Metairie, and the shores extend beyond the 4200 block of Veterans Memorial Blvd. Some of the fish are not chain restaurants owned by people in California.

Some of those fish are swimming around right under your nose, Metairie.

No, not me. I did not mean me. I am not the fish in this analogy. The fish are restaurants, Metairie, and some of them are in your very own ZIP code. These are not chain restaurants, Metairie, but they have good food and friendly people and they won’t close their doors despite being packed every night and tell you it’s because they want to focus on their other location.

You’ll never forget Houston’s, Metairie, and if you find you just can’t quit it, you can always visit the New Orleans outlet. From what Houston’s has been saying on Facebook, you might even run into one of your old servers.

But my advice is to forget Houston’s, Metairie. There are too many other great places to eat around here to pine for yesterday’s spinach dip.

Stay strong, Metairie. 



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