A Shake Shack comes to Metairie;
The sign is there already.
It replaces an ersatz English pub
With fancy burger patties.
One hundred per cent Angus beef!
No hormones to be found.
The cows that give their life for us
Graze only on the ground.
The chickens too are free of GMOs,
Hormones and all the drugs.
They’re happy pecking in the “yard”
And chasing phantom bugs.
The hot dogs are “Vienna beef”
And served a la Chicago.
Complete with relish, celery salt,
Cucumber and tomato.
The restaurant has shakes of course
And frozen custard, too.
There are crinkle fries to match
Your meal with cheese and do you people have any idea how difficult it is to write this sort of thing? Seriously, give it a shot. Try to write a poem based on the menu of a fast food restaurant that at least has some semblance of meter and rhyme.
You may be saying to yourself, “Robert, you didn’t actually have to write a poem just because you saw the Shake Shack sign at the northwest corner of Veterans and Severn, and it is not my fault that you chose to do so.”
You would be correct if you said that to yourself, but I march to the beat of a different drummer, and by “drummer” I mean “the voices in my head that tell me to write poems about Shake Shack.” The voices brook little dissent.
I kid the Shake Shack folks, but I’m actually looking forward to checking one of the locations out around six months after they open and the lines have died down. The burgers and hot dogs look good, and while I’m not a fan of crinkle-cut fries I can always stop off at McDonald’s if I’m in need of the best pommes frites this side of Boucherie.
I’m not expecting Shake Shack to replace Tru Burger, Company Burger or Bud’s Broiler in the great pantheon of outstanding burgers in town, but I allow for the possibility that I will be pleasantly surprised.
I know I always end these articles with a quasi-desparate request that you comment or email me, but this time I swear, I’m serious: what’s your favorite burger and if you’ve patronized a Shake Shack, how does it compare? I will award the first 50 commenters free access to this weblog for life.