Did you hear the joke about the soccer player that went to the White House? OK I’ll stop. Why is everyone so sensitive these days? Besides, I can write about that on a future date I guess. Today is about basking the glory of the U.S. Women’s National Team beating Netherlands to win their fourth World Cup.

What a morning to be alive, right? From just an average Joe, man on the street perspective, it seemed like the country didn’t just want this but needed this victory and Megan Rapinoe and crew brought it home for the United States with a 2-0 victory over a tough Netherlands team.

The game was pretty tight throughout with the Netherlands’ goalie, Sari Van Veenendaal, fighting off a U.S. that smelled blood in the first half to send it to the locker rooms scoreless.

Netherlands seemed to be playing even better at the beginning of the second half in a contentious affair but at the 58-minute mark Alex Morgan got behind the Dutch defense and was slightly kicked into shoulder inside the box by the Netherlands’ Stefanie can der Gragt, drawing a penalty kick. The penalty was called after a video review, which evidently everyone hates in the soccer. I don’t pretend to be a soccer aficionado however, to me, it seemed to be a pretty weak call but the announcers thought it should’ve been.

Either way, the penalty kick brought in Megan Rapinoe and we all know what happens when she’s in the spotlight. U.S.A.! U.S.A! U.S.A!

Rapinoe did not disappoint with the kick and the U.S. was up 1-0. After that, it seemed like a completely different game. Not because of the lead but in retrospect, it seemed like that was the moment where the Netherlands realized they were done. It’s not that they gave up; they were just gassed.

Unfortunately for the Dutch, the U.S. was now all out on the attack and less than 10 minutes later it was Rose Lavelle sprinting down the center of the defense, juking the defender in front of her and essentially putting the game away with a beautiful goal that put the U.S. up 2-0 and there was no looking back.

What a wonderful day for the women and men of the U.S. Congratulations to the nation’s favorite soccer team.

Yet, even with this wonderful turn of events, I think the sport itself could be improved upon. Here are a few humble suggestions that could better the sport.

  1. Every game starts with penalty kicks.

Right? Everybody loves the drama of a goalie succeeding in stopping a penalty kick so let’s start with some drama. The hell with a game being scoreless 30 minutes into the match, let’s start matches 3-2 or 4-3. Instant drama!

  1. Every game is played in a dome and the second half is played under disco lights.
  2. Anytime a player falls to the ground for no reason they have to play the rest of the game with only one shoe.
  3. Helmets, shoulder pads, tackling, passing and running. Sorry, I don’t really think this will be an improvement, I just got that first hardcore craving for the Saints season to start.
  4. Anytime two players from opposing teams fall down at the same time, they have to wrestle until one player is pinned. That player is removed from the game.
  5. Any team that is trailing by more than two goals in extra time can play every single player on their team at the same time.
  6. No halftime because halftime is DANCE OFF TIME. Losing team has to sit their starting goalie.
  7. Anytime the U.S. Men’s national team is losing the Women’s team can be brought in to save the day.

So yeah, just a bunch of great ideas like that could take this sport to the next level I think. I’m sure I’ll be hearing from the Overseers of All World Soccer soon so I will keep you updated on our progress.

Also, this was written before the U.S. Men’s national team played in the Concacaf Cup on Sunday night so here is hoping the country is celebrating a “twofer” today.


And like a fine wine with a steak dinner, every game should be accompanied by a beverage and song.


Beer Pairing: Rendezvous Tavern – $5 High Life and a shot

Playlist Recommendation: Beyonce – “Run the World (Girls)”



Around the Way

It’s not just awesome women this week; it’s also awesome teenagers as 15-year-old Cori “Coco” Grauff has taken the tennis world by storm by upsetting Venus Williams and then advancing to the quarterfinals at Wimbedon.

Coco, whose dad Corey was born in New Orleans, played this morning so by the time you’re reading this, she may have lost to No. 7 Simona Halep or her legend may have just gotten that much bigger. Either way, however this year’s Wimbledon ends, it will be known as the year of Coco.