As time marches forward, so does what’s trending – even when it comes to weddings. While there are some traditions that will stand the test of time, many couples are opting for more and more updated options for their big day.
While scanning our emails one day, we received a missive from the low-fee payment platform Lopay that a growing number of brides and grooms are bringing in “honeymoon fund stations” to their receptions. The company claimed that a wedding story out of the UK where a couple placed a contactless card reader at their reception so their guests could contribute to their honeymoon both went viral and is no longer an anomaly.
Lopay, naturally, was pushing their platform in favor of this “trend” because of its instant deposit options for couples to get their money faster, and they worked with the couple in the viral story. But it sparked many more questions for us than solved any issues.
Naturally, our first thought went straight to the etiquette of it all. While it used to be considered tactless to ask for money for your wedding gift instead of setting up a registry, this has been largely changed in more modern decades that now have technology on their side. While you absolutely do not put any indication of only asking for cash for gifts on your wedding invitation itself, it’s best to add this information in a prominent place on a wedding website and letting family and bridal party know to pass the message along.
Additionally, many sites have made it easy to incorporate a house or honeymoon fund into a registry along with any of the usual registry options. And, as expectations advance, couples are more often already living together when they say, “I Do,” so who really needs another set of towels or kitchenware?
But what got to us about this particular email and viral story is the idea of putting a card reader and QR code at the reception itself. The couple, along with the help of Lopay, set up a card reader at the bar that linked directly to the couple’s banking account. As any of the 140 guests went up to the bar, they were greeted with a sign that said, “Don’t be tight, pay for our flight.” The guest could then either tap their phone or card right there or scan the QR code available on the sign. With no surprise, the couple noted that as the night went on and the drinks flowed more the guests were more generous with their gifts, with some even tapping more than once.
This is where they lost us. It’s one thing to incorporate a fun, multi-cultural aspect like a money dance to a reception but setting up a transactional “station” like you’re buying a beer at a sporting event seems wildly impersonal and something we’d be very surprised our Southern aunts and grandmothers would be OK with participating.
We suggest sticking with creating a wedding registry – yes, still with things on it for your home, office, etc. for those family and friends that prefer a tangible item – on a site that can include “funds” and other items like bouquet or dress preservation, wedding art or other unconventional items.
This way you include everyone, exclude no one and there’s no moment for misunderstanding anyone’s intention when celebrating the happy couple.
