Author: Chris Rose

Father's Day

  Did you notice, back a couple decades ago, when all the dads in sitcoms suddenly became doofuses? Stumbling and bumbling their way through life waiting for mom to get them out of a jam. Mom holds the household together,…

Snake Eat Snake World

Since this is the May issue of New Orleans Magazine, I thought I would write an homage to all the mothers of the world, particularly my own, this being Mother’s Day month. And then I saw a ginormous water moccasin…

Did You Get Your Shots Yet?

  Oh, for the halcyon days of just a few weeks ago when such an inquiry was meant to establish whether you had gotten your COVID-19 vaccinations. Now it means just as much: Did you get shot? If there is…

Rain, Rain, Go Away

  Is there anything possibly more mundane to talk about than the weather? OK, maybe pro wrestling, but still. That said, let's talk about the weather for a minute. (Because I don't really know much – or anything, actually –…

There is No Vaccine for Violence

  In New Orleans, the comparisons between COVID-19 and Hurricane Katrina are inevitable. Empty streets. Shuttered businesses. A populace in general despair and malaise. But you know things are getting back to normal when we start shooting the sh*t out…

Senior Moments

I’m told we’re examining the matter of senior living in this month’s issue of the magazine. But is “senior living” any different from other kinds of living? I’ll answer that for you. Hell yes it is. You know everything has…

The End of an Era in New Orleans

  Inevitability can be a bitch. We all saw it coming. We all knew it was coming. But prior knowledge does not necessarily provide a proper salve for memory, nostalgia, adulation and loss. Maybe you heard the news: Drew Brees…

The Morstead Affair

  Pro sports can suck sometimes. Actually, a lot of times. And it's always for the same reason. Money. “It's just a business,” we fans are told. Don't get emotionally attached. Sometimes it's a greedy player that sets things awry.…

When The Party Is Over

  There are, of course, universal conflicts that can rend apart a relationship. How to raise your children. What to feed them. Who changes the diapers at 4 a.m. Who should do the dishes. (Depends on who cooked the meal,…

Skinny Dip

“Nothing good ever happens in a bar after 2 a.m.” That was advice – and an admonishment – given to me by a therapist more than two decades ago. The theme of this issue of the magazine is Gulf Coast…

Louisiana Crazy in the News Again

  The last box of ammo I bought was at the Jefferson Gun Outlet. It is a nondescript, inconspicuous one-story building on Airline Highway, a stone's throw – or rifle shot – from the old Zephyr Stadium. It looks benign,…

Can't Take New Orleans Out Of Carnival

  It turns out, you can take the Carnival out of New Orleans, but you can't take the New Orleans out of Carnival. It seemed inevitable that when Mardi Gras was officially “canceled” this year (good luck with that), folks…

Memory Mambo

Mardi Gras is canceled this year. So say the authorities. It’s happened before, many times in fact. Mardi Gras was canceled in 1918 and ‘19, during World War l. (And coincidentally, during the Spanish flu pandemic.) Then again it was…

The Geezer Bowl

  To begin, I am not the sports/Saints writer for MyNewOrleans. That job goes to my colleague Chris Price. Then again, I'm also not the food writer here. Nor the travel writer. But I write about sports, food and travel…

The Day The Music Died

  I don't really know what to say. Usually, in this space, I try to write pithy, witty commentary about our city and state and our communal lives. All the weirdness and comedy that abounds. But I don't have it…

What's In A Name?

  This week is a big deal. In forty-nine and a half states, the focus of the country is on the Electoral College and the war over votes and counts and delegates. And let's hope that's the only war that…

Chris Rose: Missing the Music

It’s the music I miss most. Live music. In a club or small theater. As for restaurants, bars and friends – well sure, I miss them too. And giving tours and hanging art in public squares and meeting new people.…

So, This happened.

  A couple weeks ago, there was a Christian rally outside of Jackson Square, part of a national protest called the “Let Us Worship” tour, which has been drawing thousands of largely maskless worshipers around the country. So a young…

Set The Bar Low

  Before the Saints game on Sunday, my partner says to me: “ This one's hardly worth watching. The Saints are gonna smoke the Eagles.” Well, you know that old Army phrase: “Smoke 'em if you got 'em.” Apparently, we…

So, That Happened

  OK, so this happened. There's an annual event called Naughty N'Awlins. What it is, is an annual swingers convention in our fair city. If you don't know what that means, Google it. After all, this is a family-friendly blog…

Chris Rose: A Secret Visit

There’s an old crank in the woods who spends an untoward amount of time ranting on Facebook. He has little else to do anymore. His posts can be quite vitriolic but folks who know him generally see him as a…

One Degree of Kevin Bacon

  Donald Trump – or to be more precise, his donors – spent three million dollars last week for a recount of electoral votes in Wisconsin's most prevalent minority urban districts; Milwaukee and the capital city Madison. The state demanded…

You Can Take the Mardi Gras Out of New Orleans

  Mardi Gras is canceled. So say the authorities. Bourbon Street is also “closed,” but have you seen it lately? It's happened before. Many times, in fact. In 1918 and '19, during World War l. (And coincidentally, during the Spanish…

A Peaceful Transition of Power

  It was a smooth and peaceful transition. Unexpected, to be sure. Sudden and jarring. But the Dear Leader bowed out gracefully. Wounded in body and spirit, he withdrew with dignity nevertheless. The newly anointed leader stepped in and acquitted…

A World Leader Brought to His Knees

  Over this past weekend, there was an astonishing shift of power in New Orleans, in the South, in America. A tectonic shift in attitude and results. A world leader – a king – was brought to his knees, embarrassed,…

Election Day, Week, Month, Year, Decade... Whatever

  It's Election Day. Week. Month. Year. Decade – whatever – in America. The mood is not well. Over the past five weeks, I have written a series of blog posts here at myneworleans.com which put forth a strange –…

Behind the Mask

The best part about this November is that I didn’t hear a single Christmas Carol in a store in October. I suppose that’s probably because I didn’t go to any stores in October. But still, it’s the little things that…

The Know-Nothing Party

  This is Part Four of five blog posts posted on myneworleans.com leading up to the Nov. 3 Presidential election. You can find the first three episodes here, here and here. If you choose to bypass those preliminaries, here's a…

New Orleans, The Harbinger of the Future

  This is the third in a series of blog posts leading up to the Presidential election on Nov. 3. It is non-partisan and (mostly) non-judgmental; consider it a cautionary tale, a lesson of history. Repeating itself. Again. And again.…