Be Right Back

I have reached that stage of pregnancy where strangers are commenting constantly. Mostly, they just politely ask when I’m due, with gender predictions based on how I’m carrying coming a close second. A few stubborn folks have even told me that they don’t care what the ultrasounds showed – this is a boy. One guy pointed at my belly and said: “Girl. 6 pounds, 9 ounces. May 23.” That was a little creepy, even more so because that was Ruby’s birth weight. And just yesterday, a guy leaned out of his pickup truck window and yelled: “Woo-hoo, Mama! Almost there, Mama! Just hang in there, Mama! Stay cool, Mama!” That was also a little creepy, for reasons that should be obvious.

Those are strangers. But I am fortunate enough to have family members weighing in, too. Ruby’s comments are really just mirroring my own impatience and are completely understandable given that she’s 5: “When will she be here? Why won’t she come out? You said May, Mommy, and it’s May now!” Sometimes she yells into my stomach, “COME OUT NOW, BABY!!!” My dad, on the other hand, calls every day to offer such helpful insights as, “Wow, you stick out more than any pregnant woman I’ve ever seen!” and “You probably shouldn’t even be walking anymore; you look like you’re going to fall on your face” and “Seriously, I don’t think you can even get any bigger. You’re enormous.”

It remains to be seen if I actually can get any bigger, but I am voting yes, sadly. And as of tomorrow night, I will be more pregnant than I’ve ever been before. Ruby was born via a scheduled C-section at exactly 39 weeks. This time around, my doctor is willing to let me go until June 1, which will be 40 weeks and 6 days.

But today is my last day of work. I am, of course, hoping for a spontaneous and painless labor just a few days shy of my due date, but failing that (and I am certain that I will), I plan to use the time to get organized, spend as much one-on-one time with Ruby as I can and read every trashy young adult novel I can get my hands on. Oh, and of course I will be Googling the significance of every twinge I feel combined with the phrase “sign of labor???” I am sure the time will fly by, right?

So this will be my last blog for a little while. God willing and the creek don’t rise, I will be back in late June or early July with a birth announcement and sleep-deprived ramblings. My esteemed colleagues at are absolutely on top of keeping you all entertained in my absence.

Please wish me luck, and feel free to email me at at any point during my maternity leave. Just please don’t tell me how huge I look.

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