Typically, when you are invited to a wedding, you (obviously) check when the wedding will take place, the location of the event and other pertinent details. But somewhere down the line you think to yourself, ‘what am I going to wear?’
We’ve previously covered what to wear for certain seasons, depending on what was specified for the wedding itself, as well as how to adhere to color or theme-specific restrictions, but we were recently told about a wedding that took a dress code to the next level.
A creator took to social media to describe a wedding she was invited to that included a link for attire. While wedding websites are a common occurrence today, including wedding attire suggestions, this wedding link was a little different.
The link included the number of outfits for those invited to the wedding. The guests were to pick an outfit, buy it and wear said outfit to the wedding. The creator then noted that once an outfit was purchased, the option would be eliminated from the list of options for the remaining guests and act as an RSVP. The woman sharing the story was less than enthusiastic about being told what to buy and wear to a wedding she was invited to, and the comments largely agreed with her. But there were also some conflicting opinions.
While a wedding is the beautiful coming together of two people in love, it is also a carefully curated event that is usually meticulously planned, down to the forks and knives used for silverware. It’s an important day to a couple and the couple has the right to guide guests in their preferred direction for attire. One does not want to show up in jeans to an art-filled evening at the New Orleans Museum of Art, for example.
But is there a line that should be drawn when it comes to what is demanded of wedding guests?
Our first thought when hearing this story was that one member of the couple – or maybe both – had to be involved in fashion in some capacity. To artfully curate an entire wardrobe for an undisclosed amount of guests is an added wedding task we wouldn’t put on any couple, but for someone in the industry or maybe part of a brand or a designer themselves, maybe this was a creative outlet they welcomed?
And while we support ensuring attire expectations for a couple’s wedding being explicitly noted for all guests to understand, we don’t think forcing your guests to buy an entirely new outfit is the best etiquette in most circumstances.
However, we didn’t have completely negative thoughts when considering the ask. First, if a couple is hosting a very intimate wedding gathering, where they have limited who is invited to close friends and family, this could be a doable request. It would be assumed that those people know the bride and/or groom well enough to not find this unexpected and in return they know their guests well enough to ensure no one would take offense by being forced to buy particular items.
Additionally, if a bride or groom happened to be a designer or part of a clothing store, etc., that could be a fun way to not only ensure the dress code is being followed to the letter, but could also act as a favor for those in attendance – knocking out two to-do list tasks or worries.
In any circumstance, no matter the size of the guest list, we do encourage any opportunity to help guests make appropriate fashion choices ahead of time and would suggest not forcing your guests to wear anything in particular.
We fully support having a robust creative vision, with ways to ensure it’s executed at all points, but assuming anyone is financially capable of buying an entirely new outfit or would even want to wear a look chosen for them is a choice that would not impress Emily Post.
