There is no other time we are truly amazed by the power of the internet other than when it connects us to people and cultures with whom and which we are less familiar. Social media is especially helpful in this connection, as the conduit for peeks into wedding customs from around the world.
Kelly here: This week, while spending such an insane amount of time on TikTok it will probably hinder my future health, I stumbled upon a video of a Jewish bride and groom participating in a wedding custom I had never heard of: the badeken.
The moment, much like a first look, was the first time the bride and groom saw each other on the wedding day (for some they may not have seen each other for days or a full week before) and the groom places the bride’s veil over her head).
The custom of the badeken, or “veiling,” has ties to biblical times and the story of Jacob, who was tricked by his father-in-law Laban into marrying his intended’s (Rebecca) older sister Leah. Leah was veiled during the ceremony and Jacob did not realize he wasn’t marrying Rebecca. The idea for the badeken is that the groom gets to place the veil over her head himself to see his bride and make sure it is her.
There are also notions that the veiling is symbolic of the groom marrying the bride for her inner beauty and not her physical features.
In the actual ceremony, the groom is escorted by the fathers and grandfathers of the couple to the await bride. The couple then gets to whisper a few loving comments to each other before the veil is placed over the bride. Often, after the veil is placed, some of the immediate family members will give blessings to one or both members of the couple. Following this, they are lead to the chuppah and the official ceremony is to begin.
Historically this tradition has been withheld primarily by the more orthodox Jewish couples and families. More recently however, it is being adopted more widely among non-orthodox Jewish couples who are adjusting the tradition to fit within their beliefs and personalities.
The educational website myjewishlearning.com offered a few alternatives to the ceremony that included the couple “veiling” each other, with the bride placing a kippah on the groom’s head; keeping the veil out of it all together and using this moment as a first look of sorts along with the immediate family; and even using the time to complete the less romantic aspects of signing legal documents and ensuring everyone has a ring.
It seems, like many traditions adapted for our modern era, that the badeken doesn’t have to be the same for every couple. What we gathered is that ultimately the ceremony is a special moment for the couple to see each other and gather themselves in their faith before entering into a new life as a married couple. And that, to us, is a beautiful thing.
