Social media can be a never-ending black hole that sucks you in for hours on end as you scroll past food photos, videos of dogs or the top 10 ways to update your wardrobe for spring. (We’re not at all making this statement from personal experience or anything…)
But it can also act as a bridge between people of different backgrounds, given the opportunity to learn about customs and traditions they may not otherwise be exposed to.
Case-in-point, TikTok user Eddie Fakhri posted about his son participating in a few Turkish wedding engagement customs. Not only did this moment include a 70-member walk down the future bride’s block, but it also integrated a few new wedding traditions that we immediately had to research.
First, the epic walk. According to our research, this practice is called “Kız isteme” and, broken down simply, is the groom asking for the bride’s hand in marriage. The groom, along with his family members, travels to the bride’s home – usually with flowers, chocolates and sometimes other small presents. After pleasantries are exchanged, the eldest male member of the groom’s family asks the bride’s father for her hand. We found a specific saying that cited a translation of “With the command of Allah and the word of the Prophet, we want your daughter for our son.”
In Eddie Fakhri’s TikTok, he noted that before the bride’s family agrees, there is one crucial test that the prospective groom must pass. Traditionally, the prospective bride will present her (hopeful) soon-to-be husband with a cup of Turkish coffee, which is traditionally served at this gathering. But there is a catch: The bride will add salt instead of sugar to the cup given to the groom. Depending on the groom’s reaction to drinking this cup of coffee, thus determines the bride’s family in agreeing to (or not) the match.
If the bride’s family agrees there is an additional step to the tradition where rings are exchanged.
The exchanging of the rings is called the “söz kesmek,” or essentially a promise ceremony. In this part of the tradition, two rings (which according to our research these are not the engagement rings) are tied together with a red ribbon and one placed on the right ring finger of the couple.
If the father, or familial representative, of the bride cuts the ribbon this is an official acceptance of the engagement and acceptance of the groom into the bride’s family.
In the rest of Eddie Fakhri’s video, many gifts were given to the bride and then a Lebanese tradition of drums and music began. The rest of the video included dancing, merriment and a lot of food – something we know New Orleanians can get behind.
We absolutely love learning about new wedding traditions from all over the world, especially those that have lasted centuries and multiple generations. The excitement and love that exuded from Mr. Fakhri’s video of his son’s Turkish proposal was that of pure pride and joy. There’s nothing you could want more in an engagement or wedding celebration than that.
We can’t wait to see what the rest of that wedding holds.
Full video below:
@eddiefakhri88 The official proposal #turkish #lebanese #fyp #tiktok #engagement #ring #wedding #foodporn #foodlover #foodie #food #viral #love #party #bride #groom #culture #melbourne #eddiefakhri #mashallah #bismillahfyp ♬ original sound – Eddie Fakhri
If you participated in any of these ceremonies, we’d love to hear about it! Email kelly@myneworleans.com
