The act of giving a gift to a couple for their wedding is not a new or modern concept. It has evolved over generations, centuries even. But with this “tradition” comes a lot of etiquette questions. Many feel very passionately regarding whether or not you need to stick to a registry to buy a wedding gift.
From the beginning of recorded history on the matter, wedding gifts haven’t exactly been the loving and wholesome acts they are today, as they mainly consisted of the bride’s family “paying” the groom’s family a dowry. These days, registries have evolved, and technology allows couples to not only register completely online, but also opt for help paying for home renovations, honeymoon activities, gown and floral preservations and more.
Did you know:
The modern registry’s real start began in pre-World War II department stores. In 1924, Chicago-based department store Marshall Field’s (now Macy’s) introduced the practice of having couples pick out fine china and flatware that they hoped would carry them into wedding bliss. It was the first of its kind and soon many department stores followed suit. Couples would head to their store, pick out homeware, and their list of items would then be saved for family members and guests to shop. Clerks at the stores would delete items from the list as they were purchased, and the rest is history.
Now, the question that can pit even the closest friends against each other: do you have to stick to the registry when buying a wedding present?
The simple answer is there is no confirmed wediquette saying you must stick to a couple’s registry when buying a gift.
The registry is a guideline that can help avoid the couple receiving multiples of the same gift, as well as assist those less creative and procrastinators, not have to think too hard about what to gift. Additionally, most registries are online-based and can make sending a couple a gift as easy as clicking a button.
Kelly here: I, myself, love to do a little of both. I pick something smaller from the registry and then a personal gift to go along with it. Gift-giving is one of my love languages, and I really enjoy picking something I know will be special to someone else. Now, there are always those friends whose something special is matching flatware or towels, and I appreciate that as well.
Living in a city like New Orleans, full of artists and makers, it’s not at all challenging to find a personalized, uncommon gift for a newlywed couple. Or, just stick to the registry and invite yourself over to utilize the dishes, sheets or gadgets you helped to bestow.
