Our cover story this month is about men with cool cars. They are an admirable bunch. But lets at least acknowledge those who drive vehicles that are totally uncool.

Take me for example. My car, a 2004 Ford Crown Victoria, is as uncool as they come. Plus, it’s gray.

You have to figure that any vehicle that recognizes Queen Victoria in its name isn’t for the hip set. I wince when I’m driving somewhere and see who’s behind the wheel of a passing “Crown Vic.” It is never a hunk or babe – just plain people apparently doing plain things. Those drivers are, however, at least informed because despite the fact that they may never be selected for “American Idol,” they have the sense to know that a Crown Vic is a damn good car. You might have even once had a Crown Vic in pursuit of you if you were driving too fast – supped-up versions of the Vic are used by many police departments.

I bought my Crown Vic in Jul, 2005, not knowing the torture it would go through in the near future. It was the vehicle that carried us in our Hurricane Katrina evacuation, never once overheating despite the long traffic stops; always maintaining its composure. It ferried me on many trips to New Orleans and back. Its shock absorbers took the blows of cavernous potholes. Yet, today it still accelerates with the power of its youth.

There is another advantage to the Crown Vic. I never have to worry when it’s parked on the streets. The Vic just isn’t what crooks are looking to steal. They might even think it’s an undercover police car.

I certainly respect those with the sporty vehicles. Those cars are an expression of the inner-male. Their owners should remember though, if ever they’re speeding down the highway, there might be a Crown Victoria with blinking lights not far behind.

THANKS ROLLERGIRLS
Different publications gather different awards. There are Pulitzer prizes and Press Club trophies to be earned. There is no more meaningful honor, however, than being named Magazine of the Year and presented a Fleur de Wheelie Award by the Big Easy Rollergirls. And who should know better? They are the ladies who represent our city in roller derby competition; they know what it’s like to be in pursuit of a lead. The award was given during a stately ceremony held at Finn McCool’s bar. As McCool himself would say, “I’ll have another Guinness.”