I read Tori Amos's autobiography Piece by Piece a few years ago, and in it she wrote that if she had to do it over again she would never get married and go on tour at the same time again, because it was so hard to plan. And in the same vein, I'm not sure I'd plan to get married right after Mardi Gras again.

One one hand, it's been awesome. What better time to have a bachelorette party then during Carnival?

But on the other hand, wedding planning takes a lot of time and attention. Like, serious-attention-to-minute-details kind of thing. And thinking about centerpieces during the constant demand of Mardi Gras is a little bit of a downer. It's really to the point where I'm like, "I can't go to these parades – I have to work on my reception playlist, people!"

But I have been able to get out a little bit over this Mardi Gras season, here are some highlights (and maybe a few lowlights):

Krewe du Vieux:


It's in my own hood, so I really have no excuse to miss it. It's a satirical parade with a do-it-yourself feel to it. The floats are always borderline-to-downright obscene. My kinda parade.

Office Hijinks:


Things got a little crazy last week. In a ploy to not to have to buy the next cake, some nameless office culprit stuck the baby head-first into the last piece of king cake. It prompted "king-cake-baby-awareness." But nnot less than a few days later I found a baby stuck in a glob of icing at my own house.


So wrong.

Bachelorette Party:

When planning my party, I told my friends, "Please. Whatever you do. No penis stuff."

What did they get me? Penis stuff.


We had an amazing time and went to some cool places like Mimi's (Mimi herself gave us a bottle of bubbly), Suko Thai in the Marigny for the perfect bachelorette dinner and the Golden Lantern to celebrate Whitney Houston with some drag renditions of "I Wanna Dance With Somebody."

But we also learned that if you're with a group of girls who are obviously with a bachelorette party, don't go to Pravda on Decataur. They were pretentious assholes who took one look at us and decided we must be pedestrian tourists from a fly-over state who were not worthy to rub elbows with their smug hipster skinny-jeaned regulars.


I got to see Will Ferrell as the King of Bacchus! And get a corn dog. Really, I love a good corn dog. I think I went to Bonnaroo for a few years just because they had amazing corn dogs (and maybe because Radiohead played.) And I know that for the past few years I've made the several-mile hike past Canal Street because I knew that on the other side, Corn Dog Mecca was there to greet me with bready, fried, hot-doggy goodness. Well, that, and cool parades.


So today is Mardi Gras Day! I hope everyone has a safe and happy one. I hope you catch a coconut, dance to some Mardi Gras Mambo, and I hope that bathrooms are plentiful and clean … and if you're somewhere not in New Orleans, I hope your Tuesday is awesome nonetheless and that you make it next year for one of the most amazing experiences of all time.