It’s day 2,345 of New Orleans’ “Safer at Home” adventure and, well, I’ve gotten homesick. No, I don’t mean I’m pining away for the place of my birth, Kentucky, or — though I do of course miss them — my family.

(Hi, Dad. Y’all are great and I love you!)

Rather, I’m sick of being in my home.

Putting this in writing on the internet means I’m at the risk of becoming a #firstworldproblems complainer of the first degree, but dang it, I’d love to be the other kind of homesick, because it would mean we haven’t been holed up in our place since March. I know many of you feel the same way.

Don’t get me wrong, we have a very lovely home and for that I am grateful beyond measure. It’s comfortable, filled with light, is architecturally attractive with high ceilings, hardwood floors, transom windows, glass doorknobs and is simply dreamy. But month-after-month (after-month-after-month) of staring at even this fabulous old house gets old.

I know, I know — I am a terrible whiner.

But rather than go out and about, business as usual trying to pretend the pandemic away and putting myself and others at risk, I’m continuing to stay at home.

The other day however, while in my newly rearranged for the 347th time living room, I was on the couch coloring, waiting for the homemade bread to finish baking and watching Delores terminator her way through Los Angeles (where my “Westworld” nerds at?) and I had an epiphany.

[Cue trumpet fanfare sound effect]


Yes, I will buy more plants to bring the outside in (and for the porch, keeping the outside out) and I will have another thing to do with my time — so very much time — and then my life will be complete. Right?!

It turns out, I’m not alone in being sick of my house or in trying to fix it by buying all of the plants. According to multiple outlets, including the LA Times, Dayton Daily News and ABC, to name a few that popped up after a Google search, plant sales are booming (or blooming, if you are into puns, which I am, so you’re welcome).

Yep, you heard it here second or third, or at most fourth. Trend alert: Plants are the new black!

Related: Are you thinking what I’m thinking? That “Orange is the New Black” was the new black, but now you already watched every single movie and TV show ever made and are panicking, because you have reached the end of the stream-i-verse. Well crisis averted, because several TV shows, such as “NCIS: New Orleans,” are slowly phasing back into production.

On a serious note, let’s all pray to our chosen deities or send good vibes to our New Orleans film crew friends that they stay safe and healthy as they go back to work.

Back to plants: We purchased three ferns, two Cat Palms and a bag of potting soil this weekend. Hand to heart, I’m not being hyperbolic when I tell you that it was transformative.

The past few days I’ve been heading out to the porch in the morning with my coffee to water the ferns and one of the palms. Yes, I talk to them and let them know how beautiful they are and that I’m glad they came to live with us, because you are supposed to say nice things to your plants to help them thrive — it is science, people. Caring for them offers another little bit of purpose to my day and frankly, they make me happy — also science.

Are you tired of your house? Do you need a little pick-me-up? Buy some plants.

Locally, you can get them at Harold’s Plants, Urban Roots, The Plant Gallery, Perino’s Home & Garden Center, Fait NOLA and of course places like the supermarket, Lowe’s and Home Depot.

Do you love plants? Do you have tips for Melanie for keeping her ferns or Cat Palms alive? Are you losing your mind? Share in comments or email