You finally get home from work, and if you’re a man, maybe the first thing you do is get a beer. If you’re a woman, you reach around back, unhook your bra, and slither out of it without taking off your shirt. And you take your first wonderful deep breath since you got dressed […]
Lunch was about to take a bizarre turn. This being the time of Lent brings to mind spirituality, and spirituality reminds me of Medjugorje. During the ‘80s through the present, the town of Medjugorje, located in the former Yugoslavia, became a well-traveled destination for Christians who were drawn there by reported apparitions of the […]
This mash-up of the hands-down favorite Southern nut, a wildly popular spirit, and blasting out of Carnival traveling headlong into festival season defines where we all happily find ourselves this third month of the year. And don’t look so surprised. Yes, this year, seemingly all shiny and new just a few moments ago, is […]
I never enjoyed a restaurant more than the former Genghis Khan on Tulane Avenue, where for a moderate price you could hear piano and violin accompanied opera while eating whole fish and kimchi, among other Korean dishes. The whole fish was a drum about 1½ feet long, fried into a crusty and juicy delight. […]
Zasu Chef Sue Zemanick had been out of the kitchen for a while, but in January that changed when she opened Zasu, the first restaurant at which she is both owner and chef. Diners familiar with Zemanick’s direct, precise compositions will find plenty to love on the new menu, which features a range of […]
Spring is here and with it comes thoughts of the great outdoors and festival weather. Leave it to a certain trio of restaurant pros to plant a new “destination square” on this checkered blanket of our mass consciousness. When Ti Martin, Darryl Reginelli and Tory McPhail launched Picnic Provisions & Whiskey last fall, all […]
May and Ellis Co. May and Ellis is a 25 unit residential project in the French Quarter. It includes the redevelopment of two buildings side by side on Chartres Street near Canal, where buildings gradually transition from larger commercial structures to the familiar typologies of the Vieux Carre. In fact, these are early 20th […]
FLORIDA SpringHill Suites by Marriott, Navarre Beach Navarre Beach, Florida, rests between busy Pensacola and Destin and offers a peaceful alternative to Gulf Coast vacations. Maybe it’s the proximity to the Gulf Islands National Seashore or because the commercial side of Navarre is situated on the mainland across Santa Rosa Sound, but […]
Michiel Dop, owner of Dop Antiques and Architecturals, and his wife Adela Baker, an ADHD and executive function coach, who founded Mind Coach Nola and co-owns Dop with Michiel, are not new to the field of home design. They renovated six houses of various styles (including one in the Netherlands) before deciding to build […]
Back in the fog of time, when the music industry shifted to compact discs, I held onto the “stereo” with vinyl records for a spell, then wilted before the revolution. I soon fell in love with the cd component, domestically and in the car, which positioned me for a hard crash in December at […]
Because Mardi Gras was late this year that makes for an incredibly busy March. The month begins with some fantastic shows grouped around the Carnival weekend. Outstanding Chicago rapper Noname drops into the Joy on the 1st, while Galactic plays shows at their home base, Tipitina’s, on the 1st, 2nd and 4th. Big Freedia […]
Excerpted from Eve Crawford Peyton’s blog, Joie d’Eve, which appears each Friday on MyNewOrleans.com Sometimes I think I that even now, at age 38, the Baby-Sitters Club figures too much into my daily life. When Georgia struggles with her handwriting and spelling, I remind myself that Claudia Kishi was a poor student but a brilliant […]
Are you over it yet? And if you don’t know what “it” is, you should probably stop reading here. But really, are you? Over it? On one hand I keep thinking: People, this wasn’t Katrina. It wasn’t even Gustav for chrissake. It wasn’t even another water boil emergency from the Sewerage & Water Board. […]
Within a few months of arriving in Alabama on a short-term contract with Teach for America, a colleague joked that math educator Kenneth Johnson would be a teacher for life. Johnson, now assistant principal at Arthur Ashe Charter School, resisted that comment. However, within minutes, he admitted she was right: “I probably am going […]
Angelo Brocato Ice Cream and Pastry shop has been serving up gelato and Italian sweets in New Orleans since 1905. The first storefront, which was opened by Angelo Brocato, Sr., was located in the French Quarter on Ursuline Street. Grandson Arthur Brocato moved the shop to its current location on Carrollton in Mid-City after […]
Top Taco Fest If dining on endless tacos from an impressive collection of local restaurants is up your alley, go to Woldenberg Park on March 14 for Top Taco NOLA. General admission tickets are $75 and include unlimited taco and cocktail tastings, as well as live entertainment. Information, TopTacoNola.com. Hamilton From March 12-31, […]
Dear Julia, I am intrigued by the Storyville era and its landmarks.Tom Anderson’s Arlington Annex served many a hungry or thirsty bordello patron back in the day but it’s long gone. Do you or Poydras know when or why this local landmark was demolished? Fred Reese (New Orleans) Tom Anderson’s Arlington Annex, stood at […]
We’re still angry. We’re still hurt. We’re still aghast that one person’s bad decision had such a negative impact on so many people. Yet, for all the vitriol spoken about the NFL it is fair to acknowledge, and important in understand, just how important the league has been in the city’s history, both economically […]
When the Superdome was still just a framework in the sky, Dave Dixon, the force behind both getting the dome erected and a football franchise to go with it, talked about what an addition the building would be to the skyline. Not only would the building be tall, but it would be wider than […]
You finally get home from work, and if you’re a man, maybe the first thing you do is get a beer.
If you’re a woman, you reach around back, unhook your bra, and slither out of it without taking off your shirt. And you take your first wonderful deep breath since you got dressed that morning.
Then you realize you’re out of bread. Or coffee for tomorrow. Or wine for right this minute. So you pull on your baggy sweatshirt and zip off to the grocery and keep your arms folded in the checkout line.
You only have to worry about this if you got boobs of a certain size, which I didn’t have until I got to a certain age and had babies. But now I do and I am a expert in the bra-off maneuver.
Now, my sister-in-law Gloriosa been having boobs of a certain size since she was 14, so she is even better at it.
Last week, she had just got home from her kids’ school where she heads up the committee for the Shoebox Irish-Italian Parade—which the school holds because they obviously think that with Mardi Gras, St.Joseph and St.Patrick’s, there ain’t enough parades in town this month.
The kids’ shoebox floats were supposed to be inspected the next day, and mounted on little wagons, and in a couple of weeks the kids will parade around the block pulling them and throwing left-over Mardi Gras beads plus mini-cabbages (brussels sprouts) and fava beans.
Well, Gloriosa had gotten into a little tiff with Dolly Crach, who trains the dance team, because Dolly wanted the girls to twerk —twerk!— and their parade position would be right there behind the Baby-Jesus-and-Mary float. Gladiola said “Twerking for Jesus?” in kind of a smartmouth way and Dolly took offense, and Gloriosa had to apologize three times.
But now she’s home, bra off. Which is when her little daughter Momus announces she still needs some things for the float she’s making. So Gloriosa will have to dash to the drugstore. She says the hell with it, leaves the bra where it landed, and pulls on a baggy sweatshirt.
I don’t blame her. We waste too much time trying to get comfortable in our own clothes. When my son Gargoyle was little, he was always happiest stark naked. He’s grown up now, and got his own apartment, and it’s probably still true.
Men. They think NECKTIES are torture. I can be standing there in a bra and Spanx, plus a dress that I have to keep tugging down to be modest, and high heels, while my gentleman friend Lust whines that his tie is strangling him. A little piece of cloth hanging around his neck. It don’t pinch; it don’t itch; it don’t even touch his bare skin. I should play a violin.
Anyway, Gloriosa scuttles around the drugstore, hunched over, looking for green construction paper and glitter glue. Wouldn’t you know, she spots Father Primsoll from school browsing the greeting cards, so she zips in the other direction, finds Comus’s stuff and grabs some wine.
She’s standing in the checkout line, and there’s a tap on her shoulder. She spins around. Father Plimsoll is standing there “Didn’t you forget something?” he asks. She panics. “Well, Father, it was a stressful meeting, and when I got home I wanted to get comfortable, you know how it is”— she realizes he ain’t married; he don’t know how it is, but she blunders on —- “and then my daughter said she needed some stuff for her float...”
“Calm down,” she tells herself. “Deep breath... inhale...No! ” She exhales that inhale. “I’m sorry if I offended...’
“...Brussels sprouts?” says Father Plimsoll. “Have you ordered Brussels sprouts? For the students to throw?”
“Brussels sprouts! Yes.”
She turns her back on him, pays the cashier, and gets out of there.
Home again, muttering about Brussels sprouts.
“Mama,” Comus asks, “when I grow up will you teach me that dance?”
“I’m too old for twerking. ”
“Noo—slithering out of your bra without taking off your shirt.”
“Some things come naturally, Sweetie,” she says. And opens the wine.