Hello, my friends. With the holiday season upon us, I hope your preparations are well underway (which my wife tells me is two words, unless it's being used in the naval sense, so I'm using it in the naval sense, got it? Thanks. Did I mention my wife is a professional editor? And that she is reading this over my shoulder as I type?). One does not want to be scrambling around for last-minute gifts at the end of December, does one? To ease the burden on you, I will note that I have a wish list at Amazon.com, am a 38 regular and love single malt scotch. You are welcome.

In dining news, all this month, from Sunday through Wednesday, Café Adelaide has a promotion for dinner. They're calling it Wine & Dine for $39. The deal includes a steak (filet Adelaide) a glass of wine and white chocolate biscuit pudding for… wait for it… $39. That's a pretty good deal, considering the fillet goes for $36 by itself. If that is not enough, there is caroling during lunch Monday through Friday. It's festive! I mean, I assume it's festive. People who sing in my direction while I'm trying to eat fill me with rage, so I'm not likely to report directly on the lunchtime caroling. Why don't we all just assume it's festive, ok? Café Adelaide is located in the Loews hotel at 300 Poydras St., and you can call 595-3305 to learn more.


At the very end of this year, the Little Gem Saloon is set to open just a few yards away from the old location of Maylie's restaurant. I mention this because the folks behind Little Gem recently announced that chef Robert Bruce would take on the executive chef position in the restaurant. Bruce is a native New Orleanian who has cooked in a number of great joints, including Commander's Palace, Emeril's, Christian's, the Upperline and the Palace Café. Bruce also worked for a while with his step-grandfather, Willie Maylie, whose eponymous restaurant on Poydras closed years ago. The press release I've received suggests that Bruce will be incorporating dishes from Maylie's such as redfish vinaigrette and deviled eggs remoulade into a new but still Creole-centric menu.


Little Gem is going to feature live music as well as food and drinks. From the release: “The Little Gem Saloon, which originally opened in 1903, served as a popular watering hole for early jazz legends like Buddy Bolden, Freddie Keppard and Jelly Roll Morton until closing its doors in 1909.” The operation is taking over a space that has been vacant for about as long as I can remember. When I first started practicing law in 1994, I remember walking past the structure on my way to Civil District Court and wondering why nobody had an interest in fixing it up. From the sound of it, the folks who are doing so now are pretty serious about respecting the history of the structure while also providing something that speaks to modern tastes. Expect to learn more here a few months after Little Gem opens.


Now I don't often do this, but occasionally I'll get a press release that just begs for it. Let me give you a taste:



Hi Colleague,

Food Network star Marcella Valladolid landed a place on this year’s 12th Edition of AskMen’s Top 99 Most Desirable Women.


After more than 2.4 million votes were cast, Hunger Games’ humble yet fierce Jennifer Lawrence took first place on AskMen’s “Top 99 Most Desirable Women” list. Rounding out the top 10 include: Mila Kunis (#2)…


Blah blah blah blah etc.


Holding it down at #60, Marcela represents the only celebrity chef placed on the latest edition of AskMen’s list.


The 12th edition of the Top 99 Most Desirable Women poll, calls on AskMen readers to elect women who most closely match their ideals. These men were tasked with voting on more than just sex appeal, taking into account character, intelligence, talent, sense of humor, professional success, achievements in 2012 and potential for 2013.



I ignore a whole hell of a lot of press releases every week. Most of them are from New York, Los Angeles and for some unknown reason, Detroit. But this was too rich to ignore. Let me give you another excerpt:



Has dating bad boy Kanye West hurt Kim Kardashian’s image? The reality tv star dropped to No. 98 on this year’s list. Perhaps not, as “bad girl” Kristen Stewart’s public infidelity had no impact on her desirability, which resulted in a climb from No. 27 last year to No. 7 this year. Likewise, Scarlett Johansson fell from No. 7 to No. 45. Will her upcoming sultry performance in A Cat on a Hot Tin Roof on Broadway restore her sex appeal?



Those are burning questions, aren't they? Here's another: Why in the holy hell did someone send this to me? I mean, the person who sent it to me clearly had some idea what I do. She highlighted the “food angle” in her email, and though I have no idea who Marcella Valladolid is or what she does, I guess that's at least an indication that some thought went into selecting me as the target.


I'm really more struck by the vapidity of the whole thing. I don't want to sound like a prude, because I'm pretty sure I'd be struck by lightning if I tried, but… Has dating Kanye West hurt Kim Kardashian's image? I am really struggling to keep this family-friendly, kids. Because what I want to say starts with “why the f” and ends with “uck would anyone possibly care?”


Bah, humbug.