There are few cuisines less represented in New Orleans than that of Kazakhstan. Some would say this is because the cuisine of Kazakhstan, at least to the extent it differs from the cuisine of Tajikistan, Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan and other “-stans” in the neighborhood is based on consumption of raw horse blood. Those people are wrong, because Kazakh cuisine is about a lot more than horse blood, and in fact probably doesn’t involve much raw horse blood at all.

You would know this if you did cursory research into Kazakh cuisine on the internet, through which you would learn that the truth is that Kazakh cuisine is focused on horse meat, not blood. I could bore you for hours on why peoples from the Eurasian steppes, who traditionally lived a nomadic lifestyle, still often have a diet based on food they could take with them wherever they went, but that’s a subject for a conversation at a cocktail party where you try to get away from me as I explain why peoples from the Eurasian steppes ate a lot of meat and yogurt.

That’s the gist of what I was going to write, if my column came out on April 1st. It’s also very close to what I was going to write last year, when my column also did not appear on April 1st. “It’s probably for the best,” according to the experts with whom I consulted.

In other news, the New Orleans Food & Wine Experience (NOWFE) hits town this weekend. It actually started last night, but today is the first full day and there are plenty of events to take in over the next few days. This afternoon/evening there’s a pig roast At Central City BBQ (1201 South Rampart St.) from 4 to 6 p.m., and the guys from Boucherie are going to be responsible for the pig. There is nothing bad about that and it will be well worth the $50 it costs.

The Royal Street Stroll is also this evening, and if this weather holds out that’ll be pretty sweet. There’s a lot more, including the Grand Tastings Friday and Saturday, but if you’ve got much of an interest in the event you probably already have tickets, and if you don’t you should check out the website where you can see what’s happening and buy tickets.

It really is a great event, and while circumstances and things conspire to prevent my attendance this year, I hope to return like Daniel LaRusso when he kicked that kid in the face at the end of the movie even though he only had one good leg, except I won’t be kicking anyone while attending NOWFE.