Joe Burrow Should Eat Well

Joe Burrow Should Eat Well
LSU quarterback Joe Burrow (9) contemplates his next meal in New Orleans before Monday’s big game. (AP Photo/Vasha Hunt)

I am a graduate of the Paul M. Hebert School of Law at Louisiana State University, but I would be a fan of the Tigers had I gone elsewhere for my graduate degree because my father is a fan of the tigers and also a graduate of LSU.

I remember listening to the NCAA basketball tournament in 1981 while “helping” my father wash his car. Here is my takeaway from that game: you can tell me that Bobby Knight is a fine coach and that winning is more important than being a good person but I will tell you that he is an asshole and I’m glad we had Dale Brown.

I also remember many LSU football teams over the years that underperformed despite having good talent. In the last decade we’ve had some of the best players in the game, many of whom have gone on to successful careers in the NFL.

We’ve never really had a quarterback like Joe Burrow, though.

And while I don’t know Joe, my guess is that given the tragedy of his birth outside of Louisiana he is not as familiar as he might be with good food. I am not suggesting that there is no good food in Ohio or Baton Rouge, because as I understand it the restaurant scene in the latter has improved since I last lived there in 1994. That is not saying much, but one feels one needs to make an effort not to offend people in the capital.

I am going to suggest a meal for Joe Burrow following the game on Monday. I will be pulling for LSU, but I suggest this meal regardless of the outcome, because that Burrow kid should be proud of his season whether LSU wins or not.

What follows is entirely subjective and if you disagree with any of my choices you are free to request a refund by calling 1-800-go-poop-yourself. Please listen to the entire message, as the menu options at 1-800-go-poop-yourself have changed. Your call may be recorded for quality assurance.

I would start with a half dozen raw oysters. There are any number of places to obtain raw oysters but I am fond of Cooter Brown’s and/or Casamento’s. I would pair this course with a draft beer.

Next up is an appertivo at Revel, near the intersection of Carrollton and Canal, because Chris McMillian is an awesome fellow and he pours a great drink.

A palate cleanser is in order and a lemon sorbet at Angelo Brocato’s, which is only a block or two away from Revel. I would recommend Joe pick up some pastries to eat the next morning as well, but I have other plans for dessert.

A bowl of gumbo from Herbsaint is next, because it is time for the soup course and I love Herbsaint’s gumbo. It’s a close call between that gumbo and the turtle soup at Commander’s, and I have given the decision between them a lot more time than I should, given the relative importance of the question.

I am torn on salad as well, which is the next course. There are three that I cannot help but order when I visit the restaurants which serve them: these are the “Caesar” at Bayona, the apple and celery root salad at La Petite Grocery and the grilled hearts of romaine salad at Boucherie. Mr. Burrow should be happy with any one of them.

Fish is next and that means GW Fin’s. I will not suggest a specific dish because eating at GW Fin’s means eating the best seafood they have at the moment and that changes from day to day. I will suggest a lighter dish – perhaps their Thai-style preparation – because we’re only to the fish course and we have a way to go.

Another palate cleanser and this time I’ll suggest Piccola Gelateria on Freret Street. There is no better gelato (or sorbetto) in town.

I enjoy beef and I believe that is the case for people who were born in Ohio as well, and thus for the next course I will recommend the Wagyu picanha at Brasa Churrasqueria. There are meat that equal a Wagyu picanha, but there are none that exceed it in my experience.

At this point in the meal another adult beverage is appropriate for those of us who have lived more than 21 years. The specific cocktail is not as important at this stage as the setting, and thus I recommend Patrick’s Bar Vin in the French Quarter, with the assumption that Patrick himself will be on hand.

I am not a man who eats a lot of sweets, and I often pass on dessert. I recognize that I am in the minority where this is concerned, and I do fondly recall a dessert on the menu at Domenica that I would choose to end the evening were it still available. It was a zeppole (fried doughnut) with a chocolate dipping sauce and I miss it a lot. Thinking about it made me remember that there is another, similar dish available in New Orleans, though the restaurant that serves is it not open late. Nevertheless, I will recommend the ableskivers (with lemon curd) at Toast to round out the meal, along with coffee from whichever roasting house/coffee shop is en vogue at the moment.

This is the meal I would recommend to Joe Burrow following the game on Monday. If I were to do it again tomorrow, I might choose a different dish and restaurant for each course. I am fickle, you see.


What about you?



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