Monograms and Matrons

Q: I’m getting married late this summer and plan to give each of my bridesmaids a monogrammed beach bag. My matron of honor was married last year and decided to keep her middle name and to hyphenate her last name: Rachel Elizabeth Henry-Landis. How should that monogram look: REH or RHL?
Neither, actually. First the basic rules: Typically, with a three-word name, monograms are composed of the first name initial on the left, the middle or maiden name first initial on the right and the last name first initial in the center, larger than the other two. So for your matron of honor’s maiden name, her monogram would be: RHE
In recent years, four letter monograms, especially in instances such as this, have become popular. Depending on how you want the monogram to look, you have two options: RHLE or RH-LE. Either one is appropriate, it just depends on your preference.

Q:  I have asked one of my good friends who was married and now is divorced to lead my wedding party. What is the appropriate title for her? If she had never married, she would be a maid of honor. If she was married then the term would be matron of honor, which, by the way, I really dislike. What should I do?
Traditionally a maid of honor is a woman who has never been married, while a matron of honor is a married woman. In this case, the analogy is that just like a married woman went from a Miss to a Mrs., after divorce she becomes a Ms., but can never go back to being a Miss. After divorce she would be a matron of honor.
However, you do have other options. First off you can ask her which she would prefer you use and go with her choice. Also, the term “honor attendant,” which used to only be used to highlight the sister or close relative of the bride, is now being used in place of maid of honor and matron of honor for those who don’t feel comfortable with either term.

Q: My fiancé and I are having non-traditional wedding parties where instead of a maid of honor my best guy friend will stand for me, and my fiancé’s best girl friend will stand for him. We’re happy to explain our choices to anyone who asks, but what do we put on our programs?
Thanks to trailblazers before you, these terms are already in place. Your male friend would be known as the man of honor and your fiancé’s friend would be called the the best woman. There are also other options such as bride’s attendant or honor attendant, groom’s maid, best lady, best maid, and I’ve even seen best friend of honor. You can also just say “standing for the bride is _____.”
Choose whichever makes you happiest and on which you, your fiancé and your attendants agree. After all, this is your day. b



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