Holiday slashers are experiencing somewhat of a resurgence of late, and we are all the better for it, with the recent “Thanksgiving” (2023) and “Terrifier 3” (2024) bringing good gory fun to their respective holiday seasons. However, the gimmick of matching holiday to horror is nothing new. The first slasher craze in American cinemas was kicked off in earnest by John Carpenter’s “Halloween” in 1978, with all due respect to Bob Clark’s yuletide chiller “Black Christmas” in 1974 and the immortal Tobe Hooper’s “Texas Chain Saw Massacre” in 1976. There was something different about what Carpenter synthesized with his stalking ghoul of Michael Myers, an unrelenting march of death fueled by mania and blood lust that captured the minds of audiences looking for a new kind of thrill, and also that of movie producers looking for a hook to hitch their investment dollars to. So followed a slew of holiday slashers that included “New Year’s Evil” (1980), “Silent Night, Deadly Night” (1984), and even “Leprechaun” (1993). One of the finest of this bunch is “My Bloody Valentine” (1981), a coal-black, mean little picture set amongst the mining town of Valentine’s Bluff while a pick-axe toting madman stalks the honeycomb of mines that give the community its livelihood. Like the best slashers, it features innovative, holiday-specific slaughter and a killer who is impossible to forget, cutting a unique silhouette with his miner’s mask and oxygen tank. These influences were clearly on the minds of Josh Ruben (“Werewolves Within”) and the team behind this year’s clever and fun bleeding heart-shaped box of a slasher, “Heart Eyes.”
Taking the shape of a romantic comedy where two hapless hotties happen to meet under contentious circumstances, “Heart Eyes” follows Ally (Olivia Holt of the New Orleans set and filmed “Cloak & Dagger”) in the aftermath of a breakup, trying to keep her life together on Valentine’s Day with little success. Her boss is near to firing her over a disastrous marketing campaign that highlights the inevitability of all love ending in death and her recently broken up with ex-boyfriend is happily posting lovey-dovey selfies with his new boo. Even the butterflies of meeting a tall, ripped, and kind hunk at the coffee shop who shares her coffee order, Mason Gooding of “Scream VI” (but the real ones know him from “Booksmart”), are squashed when she realizes he is a free-lancer in town to essentially take her job. With all this compounding tragedy, she’d be forgiven for forgetting that there is also a serial killer on the loose, the eponymous Heart Eyes Killer, who gets his kicks knocking off lovers on Valentine’s Day in creative fashion with holiday-specific gimmicks and quirks. Needless to say, Ally’s on a collision course with love and the Heart Eyes killer; the only question is which catches up with her first.
Slashers are at their best when they stick to the gimmick and pile on the gore, and “Heart Eyes” delivers both in spades. An opening sequence that takes place in an out-of-season winery sets the tone with aplomb, showcasing the film’s ability to have fun with tropes while knowing what the audience wants. In effect, blood and lots of it. Near the end of this sequence, while a young woman is trapped in a wine press that begins to compact itself, I was leaning forward in my seat. This was the moment of truth, a Rubicon for the film. If “Heart Eyes” was going to uphold its tradition, if it would be itself worthy of its Valentine’s Day horror predecessors, there’s only one thing it could do. If it chickened out or cut away from the inevitable, I knew we were in trouble. Rest assured sickos, what happens is exactly what you hope will happen and it is a delight. Frankly, throughout, Rubens & Co. never shy away from inventive mutilations, impalements, eviscerations, and the like. While “scares” in the traditional sense are somewhat lacking, I’m not sure that’s the bullseye this movie is shooting for. While its blood-soaked bonafides are readily apparent, giddily so in certain sections, the film’s heart beats most for the two Starbucks crosseD lovers at its center and their will they/won’t they tension; a unique wrinkle that I was surprised to find had decidedly won me over by the time credits rolled.
Holt and Gooding could be the leads in a Hallmark movie, which is of course the point. Their espousings of love found and lost, with Gooding the hopeless romantic and Holt the cynic, telegraphs the kind of romantic inevitability that audiences adore from these kinds of movies. Their chemistry is sweet and there seems to be a halo of destiny around them every moment they’re on screen. So much so that I assumed the film doth protest too much and was ramping up for some grand inversion. There’s no way the movie could truly act as slasher AND romance, could it? Turns it absolutely can and does. Ultimately, as the bloody trail of the Heart Eyes Killer stomps toward its sufficiently clever/gross conclusion, it was the sappy romance that had me misty by the film’s end. If there’s one thing the old-time slashers of the glory days didn’t bother with, it was sentiment. It was a more brutal, angry time in the world, a time to which I must assume we are soon to be returning. Horror reflects the time within which it is made, so be prepared for the brutality of the cineplex to become a funhouse mirror once again. But, despite it all, it was nice to watch something devoid of cynicism, a sweet movie that has the audacity to imagine a world where love wins the day and freshly spilled blood can be washed clean from a happily ever after. “Heart Eyes” is the good time slasher we didn’t know we needed. It carved my heart out in the best way. Go figure.
It’s Valentine’s Day and there are plenty of things to see. But if you’re looking for a fantastic date night movie, something for the gore hounds and the romantics in each of us, spend some time with “Heart Eyes”.
You’ll be glad you did.
“Heart Eyes” is playing at The Broad Theater and Prytania Theatres at Canal Place.
