No Defense


48-40. “At least it was a fun game to watch.” Yeah right.

I heard that more than a few times on Sunday walking through the crowds weaving our way out of the Superdome and heading to Erin Rose in the French Quarter.

It was always someone who seemed to want to make sense of a spectacularly bad performance by the New Orleans Saints defense and perk up a forlorn friend.

That’s nice.

What is not so nice is hopefully the upcoming week of practice for everyone on the Saints defense because not one of them made a single play all day. It was awful. Honestly, if I were head coach Sean Payton I would tell the offense to stay home for a practice and sit on top of the defense until they figure out just what the heck happened on Sunday.

And who were those guys who snuck onto the field all day long wearing Marshon Lattimore, Ken Crawley and Marcus Williams jerseys? Surely, that could not have been the same corps of d-backs that the Saints rode to the playoffs last year could it? If you need to find these guys this week just locate a Tampa Bay Buccaneers wide receiver and you’ll find them running four yards behind him.

It would be nice to just point at these guys and say, “That’s why they lost,” but, unfortunately, they’re not the only culprits in this downtown debacle. After so much talk about getting someone to help Cam Jordan on the D-line the defensive line was missing in action the entire game. You should always be wary about judging a game by its stats but here is one that jumps out — not one single sack the entire game.

The ineffectual defensive line and paltry secondary play made Ryan Fitzpatrick look like a legend as Fitzpatrick sliced the defense for 417 yards passing and four touchdowns. Fitzpatrick wheeled outside of the pocket at will, scrambling for first downs or hitting receivers seemingly in stride every time he wanted. If someone owns a time machine please jump in it and get Jameis Winston back into this game. What a joke.

No Defense

Yay Offense

I hate to be sarcastic but who cares what your offense does when you lose like this, right? On the other hand, props to Drew Brees and company for doing what they do so very well. Brees put in the typical oh-lord-the-defense-isn’t-showing-up-today performance that every Saints fan has grown to know a little bit too well. Brees completed an astounding 16 passes to Michael Thomas for 180 yards and a touchdown. That’s insane, y’all.

Alvin Kamara, although never really tearing it up (8 runs for 29 yards) on the rushing side of things, was still Kamara, catching 9 balls for 112 yards and one touchdown. Hard to believe, but Kamara may have improved as a receiver over the off-season. Kamara had three touchdowns on the day.

After all of those Tecmobowl stats, the Saints lost by eight points.

Don’t get me started on the Saints wasting their timeouts either.

Yes, I’m still grumpy.

No Defense

Not only on the field

The Saints defensive play was so bad to such an overwhelming degree that it may have not only lost the game but also affected other parts of the Superdome as well. Case in point, the concession stand in the second half.

We were way up in section 611, which it turns out, is not that bad of a seat. The bathrooms are right behind you and you immediately run into the concession stand when you leave your seat. Got to be a good thing, right? Maybe not.

It was well into the second half and the Fear was setting in that the Saints were about to get embarrassed when we journeyed out to get another libation to ease the pain. Now, I’ve never been in combat but I feel like the look in everyone’s eye was that thousand-yard stare that veterans talk about. Behind the concession stand it was pure chaos as we worked our way through fans yelling about having to wait 20 minutes for a hot dog. I had to change my beer order twice because no one had come up to switch out the kegs and was left with only one lackluster option of Dixie Beer.

The folks in line were angry and the intensity was way more than the Saints defense displayed on the field. Melanie said it felt like a scene from “Lord of the Flies,” so we got out of there before the crowd went full-Piggy.

No Defense

And like a fine wine with a steak dinner, every game should be accompanied by a beverage and song.


Beer Pairing: Dear Saints, please start supporting the Louisiana craft beer scene.

Playlist Recommendation:

*If you want to put a smile back on your face check out the lip dub video (below) by the Renaissance Publishing staff. It’s really cool.


Around the Way

As we rambled back into the Quarter our first stop was the Upper Quarter Bar. As we were waiting for our drinks I struck up a conversation with another patron who told me this amazing story about Ocean Springs High School’s Kaylee Foster.

It turns out that Foster was named Ocean Spring High’s homecoming queen. Pretty cool, right? Oh, I forgot to tell you. Foster also hit the game-winning field goal in overtime to win the game for the Greyhounds. Congrats to Foster and the Greyhounds. This is why you should always talk to your neighbors, folks.

Like goosebumps? Click this link to see Foster’s game-winning field goal.



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