Now It Can Be Told


I wrote this during the Kavanaugh hearings.

That was a rough stretch for me – and way too many other women – and well, now I guess you know why, huh?

I think my best friend still has a text I sent her the day Kavanaugh was confirmed in which I just said, “Im dtunk bevsue Kavsbugh,” which she, in her infinite wisdom, knew meant that I was drowning my feelings in way too much cheap Pinot Grigio.

It’s weird being on the other side of the news – being the story instead of the reporter – and it’s definitely not the way I wanted to make it into the New York Times. But here we are.

I have been really aggressively NOT reading the comments on any of these stories because I value my mental health, and I urge anyone triggered by disgusting victim-blaming comments for any reason at all, even just basic humanity, to do the same thing.

The strangest guilt I feel right now is for any other survivors being triggered by my story.

But I will close this blog the way I closed the one I wrote in September 2018, with one small update.


For anyone struggling: Be mad. Be brave. Be strong. Be kind to yourselves. Be kind to your families. Do things that make you happy.

For anyone who wants to be supportive: Be patient. Be gentle. Listen more than you talk.

For anyone who wants to yell about [cancel culture]: Please do it elsewhere.


If you need to talk: (855) 435-STAR or




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