Every so often, I tell my daughter some fact about my 1980s childhood that leaves her slack-jawed with horror.
“You didn’t have a DVR? So, what … you had to actually know when shows came on? And you could only watch them then?”
“You didn’t have Netflix? What did you do on the weekends?”
“Wait, how did you even do research for class projects without Google?”
I laugh at most of these queries because my childhood – full of Nickelodeon shows and trips to the mall and bike rides through my neighborhood and the card catalog and the old set of World Book Encyclopedias my parents bought at a yard sale – was actually pretty great.
But I share her shock at the thought of being a working mom before Amazon Prime. What on earth did my mom – a working single mother – do when I told her I needed a costume for the school play in three days or that I had a science project due at the end of the week?
This is most certainly not a paid endorsement for Amazon. If anything, it’s the exact opposite: I give most of my paycheck to Amazon. But when I look at the hours I spend at work, volunteering for the school, driving kids around to sports events and birthday parties, and just basically attempting to keep my head above water and maybe occasionally go to the gym or eat lunch with a friend – well, I need every convenience I can find. I know it’s not a perfect solution for a lot of reasons, but the fact that I can take care of my children’s constant needs, whims, and responsibilities without getting up from my desk is pretty hard to beat.
I took a quick look at the last 10 things I bought and the story each purchase told:
Purchase: Pacon Fadeless Bulletin Board Art Paper, 4-Feet by 50-Feet, Orange (57105)
2 of 5" Paper Cutout Ghost Halloween Decorations, 10ct
Halloween Ghost Skeleton Door Decoration 10 Piece
Prompted by: “Hey, Mrs. Peyton, you’re the room mom again, right? When can you come decorate the classroom door before Fall Open House?”
Purchase: Pringles BBQ Grab and Go Pack, 2.5 Ounce (Pack of 12)
Prompted by: “Mom, I need a good snack. I never liked Cheez-Its. Why do you keep giving me Cheez-Its? ”
Purchase: Cracker Jack – 24/1.25 oz. bags
Prompted by: “Ugh, I’m sick of those barbecue chips. Can I get Cracker Jacks? Isabella gets Cracker Jacks.”
Purchase: The First Woman Doctor (Scholastic Biography) by Rachel Baker
Prompted by: Email from teacher explaining students must complete a book report on a historical figure by Oct. 18, coupled with an instinctive mom sense that Ruby would want to do Elizabeth Blackwell. I actually ordered the book without even talking to Ruby about the project and was beyond gratified when I picked her up several hours later and she handed me a piece of paper with the name of this book on it. “Can we find this for my book report?” “It’s already on the way. It will be here Friday.”
Purchase:
–City Threads Little Boys and Girls’ Union Suit Thermal Underwear Set Long John Onesie Footie Perfect for Sensitive Skin and Sensory Friendly SPD, Candy Apple Red, 3T
-KoolKidz PJ Masks Costumes for Kids Catboy Owlette Gekko, 3 Satin Capes and 3 Felt, Set of 3
Prompted by: “Georgia, do you still want to be Blue from Blue’s Clues for Halloween?”
“No. I want to be Catboy. I mean, Blue turning into Catboy. No. I mean Owlette. Owlette is a girl. So I want to be Owlette.”
“Catboy? Owlette?”
“From PJ Masks, Mom!”
I got bonus mom points on this one, too, because the masks and capes came as a set of three and another kid in her class is going as Gecko, so I was able to make his mom’s life easier.
Purchase: Clorox 02176 Commercial Solutions Hand Sanitizing Spray, 500 ml Bottle
Prompted by: “A kid in my class puked in Chapel today.”
Purchase: Stretch Island Fruit Leather Variety Pack 48-Count, 0.5-Ounce Package
Prompted by: “Can I bring a snack for the whole class that starts with F for my sound bag next week?”
Purchase: J World New York Sundance Rolling Backpack, Blue Raspberry, One Size
Prompted by: “Mom, I have bad news. My backpack broke.”
“The Pottery Barn one? The brand-new one? The one we just bought a month ago?”
“Yeah.”
Purchase:
–Mead Trapper Keeper 2-Pocket Folder (Pink)
-Candy Crush Stickers – 4 Sheets
Prompted by: “I need a homework folder. Can you find one with candy on it?”
Answer: No, actually. But I can find candy stickers for a DIY version.
Purchase: PackIt Freezable Upright Lunch Box, Poppies
Prompted by: “Georgia, what did you eat for lunch in the cafeteria today?”
“Cheese.”
“What else?”
“Just cheese.”
*24 hours later*
“What did you have for lunch, Georgie-boo?”
“Cheese.”
“Just cheese? Again?”
“Yep.”
As recently as 10 years ago, I actually kind of liked shopping. I was never the kind of girl who lived at Saks or anything, but every now and again, I enjoyed a trip to the mall with girlfriends, browsing sales racks, touching fabrics, dabbing lipstick samples on the backs of our hands.
Those days are gone. Now all I want is a quick way to solve the myriad problems that crop up in my daily life.
I could give up my DVR. I could give up Netflix. But please, God, don’t ever take away my Amazon Prime.