Q: As the bride, is it my responsibility to warn my guests about possible construction or travel delays in the area of my ceremony and reception? If so, how should I do that?
In a city like New Orleans, where — especially Uptown — a street can be open one day and closed for blocks the next, informing your guests of closures is a very thoughtful gesture. However, you’re going to have many things on your plate as your Big Day approaches, and no one is going to blame you if they find themselves stuck in traffic.
But if you, or a family or wedding party member wants to go above and beyond, check Louisiana’s Department of Transportation to learn about planned roadwork. Then post that information
or link to it, along with a map of the area, on your wedding website or print
it as a handout to give to those who ask for it or at
the rehearsal dinner. Just know that no matter how much you plan, a broken water main or a wreck might delay your guests; you can’t plan for everything.
Q: My soon-to-be daughter-in-law sent me an email today telling me, in no uncertain terms, her guidelines for the dress I will be wearing to my son’s wedding. This isn’t our first time butting heads during wedding planning, but I thought she would trust me not to embarrass my family or myself. Is it the bride’s role to approve the mother of the groom’s dress? If not, how should I handle this?
It is not. It is fine to have a discussion about your choices, but she may not dictate what you will wear.
It seems from your question that you are angry. Give your future daughter-in-law a break and try not to take it personally. During wedding planning, unfortunately some brides become overexcited about every little detail and overlook boundaries; she’s probably not directing orders at you because she thinks you’ll be inappropriate.
Ask her to set aside some time to chat with you about her plans — maybe over lunch or a glass of champagne. Let her show you what she’s excited about. Then show her examples of dresses that you’re considering and tell her why you like them. Once you’re together, you’ll both remember that you’re about to be family and I’m sure you can come to a, very flattering, decision.
Q: I’m thrilled that my niece has asked both of my daughters to be flower girls in her wedding. They are very excited and my youngest, 7, can’t stop talking about the plans. However, my oldest is 11, and while she’s flattered to have a role, she feels she’s too old to have a “babyish” job, like a flower girl. Is there an age limit for flower girls? Is there a way to suggest that maybe my older daughter should be a junior bridesmaid instead?
The usual oldest age for a flower girl is 7, which means that your younger daughter is perfectly appropriate as one but your older daughter would, in matters of age, be more apt as a junior bridesmaid.
A junior bridesmaid’s role is to dress similarity to the other bridesmaids and walk in the processional and recessional. She would not be expected to chip in for showers or bridesmaids gifts to the bride or attend the bachelorette party or other events more appropriate for older attendants.
It is OK for you to reach out to the bride and ask her about this. However, if the bride prefers that your older daughter is a flower girl, and your daughter is amenable to that, it’s totally fine and no one will think anything of it.