Is there anything possibly more mundane to talk about than the weather? OK, maybe pro wrestling, but still.

That said, let’s talk about the weather for a minute. (Because I don’t really know much – or anything, actually – about the WW-whatever it’s called.)

Is it just me, or is it raining a lot? I mean, a LOT. I’m not talking about that charming April showers and May flowers kinds of rain. I’m talking about torrents. Constant, endless torrents.

Meteorological charts tell us that it has rained every other day so far in 2021. And the National Weather Service says that late 2020 – from August through November – presented “extremely active” weather patterns in south Louisiana. Y’know, like when we start naming storms after Greek letters instead of charming New Age kids’ names.

When it is presented in inches of precipitation, it all sounds vague and scientific. And who cares about science anyway?

The way I can tell we’re getting too much rain is that, from my small cabin in the woods on the Northshore, on most days, it’s easier to swim out of my yard than drive.

I wish I was joking. But my regular footwear these days includes sock, shoes, industrial trash bags wrapped around my knees. It’s insane how much water there is in our yard. During that cold spell in January, it would have been easier to ice skate out to the local highway than walk. But who in south Louisiana has ice skates?

Not me. So I fall down a lot. I get wet. But thanks to Glad trash bags, my feet stay dry. Call me cynical, but I am the only person I know who is actually rooting for climate change.

My old car has new dimples on the hood and roof from recent heavy hail storms. I mean, like most folks, I love the sound of rain on my tin roof. But a torrent of golf balls raining down upon me? No.

City Park is a lake. Fontainebleau State Park is a lake. Your neutral ground is a lake. (Or maybe a pond.) Lake Pontchartrain – an actual lake – is a bigger lake than usual.

As you are reading this, it is probably raining. As I write this story, the National Weather Service is issuing flash flood warnings in the region. I’m beginning to think that climate change might not be such a bad thing. Because I’d really like this climate to change.

It’s a singularly New Orleans phenomenon. Water, water, everywhere, but not a drop to drink. Seen from the air, the city is basically an island, surrounded by the Mississippi River and Lakes Pontchartrain, Borgne and Katherine, the Spillway and all the bayous. But you can’t drink any of it. Hell, you can’t even swim in any of it.

Doesn’t that seem weird?

Could be worse though, I guess. The island of St. Vincent in the Caribbean popped up with an active volcano over the weekend. The sky is full of ash, the ground crawling with lava and residents fleeing.

That’s an active volcano not all that far from our homes. Doesn’t the saying go that New Orleans is the most northern Caribbean city?

I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for my May flowers.