So, That Happened


OK, so this happened.

There’s an annual event called Naughty N’Awlins. What it is, is an annual swingers convention in our fair city. If you don’t know what that means, Google it. After all, this is a family-friendly blog post.

Oh hell, I’ll go ahead and say it: It’s a gathering of folks who bang strangers and each others’ spouses and other assorted lovers and leavers.

It’s a big deal, actually. It usually draws more than 2,000 people to New Orleans every year for a four-day – shall we say – extravaganza.

It was originally scheduled this year for July. But, as reported, it was “thrust to November 19-23 due to the COVID-19 pandemic.”

That’s actually what they wrote. You can’t even begin to make this stuff up.

So, since it turned out that the party was held in the middle of the worst surge of the pandemic, guess what happened? Of the decidedly diminished crowd of 250 folks in attendance this year, at least 50 are known to have contracted COVID. And that’s just the “known” cases. As far as syphilis and gonorrhea are concerned, those numbers remain unknown.

Now, let’s be clear: I’m not judging what’s called “the lifestyle.” In fact, I’ll go ahead and put this out there: I have dabbled. In my younger and more vulnerable years. I once ran with a wild woman in a wild crowd.

But it’s hard to imagine that folks who wear condoms when banging strangers wouldn’t wear masks in a pandemic. After all, it’s New Orleans. We wear masks for no reason at all, let alone in a death wave.

Weird thing: Mayor LaToya Cantrell approved the event in advance last month. I mean, what could go wrong, right?

Event producer Bob Hannaford now says: “If I could go back in time, I would not produce this event again.” Well, great call. Hindsight is 2020, after all.

And so is this godforsaken year.

Wear a mask to the grocery store, but walk into a sex club with no jeans on? I’m finding the world hard and harder (no pun intended) to understand every day.

Can you not just put off your next orgy until after the vaccine?

It’s a world gone mad.

Here’s a crazy idea. For now, just have sex with your spouse or your partner. Don’t send 250 people on airplanes and automobiles back to wherever they live carrying not only COVID, but god knows what else.

OK, sermon over. I’m a sinner, not a saint, let’s be clear about that. But I also got some stuff I want to do before I die in ICU.




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