After living in New Orleans for a while, you get used to visitors. At first, I absolutely loved having visitors because I used to get just as excited to go see the sights as they did. Now? I'd rather just point to a few things on a map and point them in the right direction, because trekking around the city like a tourist is downright exhausting. Also, it may be vacation time for your visitors, but nine times out of 10, it sure as hell isn't for you. They can handle taking a day to nurse an inevitable hangover and food coma, but chances are, you still have to go into work the next day and be on your game. Because you just end up feeling like you need a vacation after your visitor's vacation, I came up with a few little tricks to keep the exhaustion away – at least somewhat.
• I'll go out drinking, and stay out until the wee small hours, if I don't have to work the next day. If I do have to work the next day, I avoid all the sugary super-alcoholic beverages that tourists love to drink, like the plague.
• I had keys made for visitors, so therefore you can set your friends free into the wild.
• I'll go to Frenchmen St., but usually not Bourbon. Unless my friends are truly desperate to see it, I will acquiesce – mainly because I remember what it was like when I first saw it. I thought, "what is this wonderful planet with neon signs and old-world buildings, and when can I move here?" I was such an adorable little tourist
• I'll usually take guests through a drive-through daiquiri stand. It's quick and easy, and it always floors people that you can drive up to a window and purchase adult beverages. To-go. It blows people's minds. I laugh every time and think #onlyinNewOrleans.
• I'll suggest going to the movie theater, as movies are never exhausting. I know this sounds lame, but people love going to Canal Place to see a film, as it's like walking up to a space ship and watching a movie in luxury. There's a cocktail list, an awesome menu and a mall to walk around afterward. It's win-win.
• I talk up my neighborhood so I won't have to walk so far. I know it's terrible, as there are seriously cool things in all the other neighborhoods, but that sort of stuff is what the keys I made are for. But honestly, Bywater is a lot of fun and I love to show people around – probably more so than any other of my tour guide duties.
• I give guests free reign to ride either of my bikes around, instead of worrying about cabs or walking great distances. I've had many a friend fall victim to blisters on their feet, due to all the necessary walking in New Orleans.
• Crash. As soon as they go home, I take a nice big nap. Await the next visitor. Rinse. Repeat.
