I support journalism. I have paid subscriptions to the local newspaper, the New York Times, and the Washington Post. I went to journalism school and got two degrees. There’s not much I take more seriously than the right to a free press.
But that doesn’t mean I can’t criticize the media, too.
And that’s exactly what I did when I learned that last week, in a story that made national news, our local paper had decided to print – and then retract – a letter to the editor feigning “confusion” over the pronoun usage of a dead teenager. During Pride Month, no less. This one was personal to me, too, because the teenager in question, Belle Adelman-Cannon, was one I knew, one my daughter knew. And because my daughter, although I am still allowed to use the word “daughter,” now uses “they/she” pronouns and a new name, Rowan instead of Ruby.
Belle’s parents already responded, so much more elegantly and gracefully than I could’ve, and you can read their response here. (Although I am hesitant to give more ad clicks to the site, it’s still worth the read).
But I still want to share my response and Rowan’s, too, because I think it’s important. The more voices rise up against this sort of thing, the better. Hers is better than mine, so we’ll close with hers.
As someone who was tasked last week with the unimaginable job of sharing the tragic news of Belle Adelman-Cannon’s death on behalf of Benjamin Franklin High School, I was thankful for the beautiful and respectful way in which Missy Wilkinson honored Belle’s life — part of which was using Belle’s correct pronouns.
I am appalled, however, that the editorial board saw fit to publish a letter from someone criticizing the use of these pronouns. While I understand this is a heated issue on both sides, I would hope your publication would err on the side of not causing further harm to a grieving community mourning the loss of a truly incandescent teenager.
The Associated Press embraced “they/them” pronouns six years ago, so surely your publication has had time to address this in its own style guide. This is a settled matter from a journalism standpoint, and anyone who is still “confused” about a singular “they/them” is, in my opinion, being willfully ignorant. If your editorial board felt like this was a subject worth addressing, however, you could have chosen a subject other than the sudden and shocking death of a much-loved teenager to do so. I’m confident you get frequent letters on this topic, but why anyone on your editorial board would make the callous decision to amplify the letter writer’s thoughts at this terrible time for our community is beyond comprehension and in extremely poor taste.
One of the things I love about journalism is how it can elevate the voices of marginalized communities. The Society of Professional Journalists, in fact, includes this as part of its Code of Ethics, exhorting reporters to “boldly tell the story of the diversity and magnitude of the human experience.” Publishing this letter is a prime example of how to do exactly the opposite. I’m very disappointed in this choice from a paper I grew up reading.
And from my kid:
I am writing to express my utmost disappointment and anger regarding the recent letter published in your newspaper that egregiously misgendered a dead child, Belle Adelman-Cannon. Belle was my friend and peer at Ben Franklin High School and a proud queer person who used “he/they/she” pronouns. The blatant bigotry on display in this letter for a young person who can no longer advocate for themselves is both deeply troubling and disrespectful.
In a time when the struggle for transgender and non-binary rights is gaining significant visibility, it is disheartening to witness such a disregard for the basic dignity and respect that every individual, regardless of gender identity, deserves. Misgendering is not merely a matter of semantics; it is a harmful act that invalidates someone’s identity and perpetuates the erasure of their lived experiences.
The fact that the Advocate chose to publish this letter sends a distressing message to the wider community. By continuing to uphold harmful societal norms shown in the letter, your newspaper contributes to the marginalization and oppression faced by transgender and non-binary individuals. It is essential that media outlets like the Advocate take responsibility for the impact of the voices they promote and prioritize accuracy and inclusivity.
Additionally, I implore you to take this opportunity to educate yourselves on the importance of using correct pronouns when deciding what to print when discussing transgender and non-binary individuals to ensure that your publication reflects the diverse and the evolving society we live in.
I sincerely hope that you will take this incident as an opportunity to reflect on your practices and commit to being an ally to the transgender and non-binary community.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Sincerely,
Rowan Crawford
Happy Pride Month, everyone. If you’re genuinely confused, I promise it gets easier with practice. If you’re just mad about pronouns, feel free to send me an angry email that I will 100 percent ignore. I just plan to keep trying to learn, trying to get better, and loving and fighting for my kids.
