Comparable to the white wedding dress and cutting a cake, there may be no stronger connection to wedding traditions than the idioms “tie the knot” and “pop the question.” The two phrases are repeatedly plastered onto engagement photos, social media posts, bachelorette decorations, bridal shower invitations and much more. But, like all wedding traditions, they must have an origin story.
TIE THE KNOT
We’ve touched briefly on the phrase “tie the knot” when we highlighted the Celtic tradition of hand fasting. Hand fasting, as you can read more about here, is quite literally the act of tying two hands together in a ritualistic and symbolic way of bringing the two together – much like a wedding ceremony. As the tradition pre-dates Christianity, it is considered one of the origins for “tying the knot.”
In addition to the Celtic hand fasting, acts of “tying the knot” can be found in Hindu ceremonies, as well as African and African-American ceremony traditions.
In Hindu celebrations, the act is called hastmelap, which means “handshake” or “joining of hands” in Sanskrit. The bride and groom’s hand (we saw mention specifically of the right hand in a few instances) has a cloth tied around them to symbolize a spiritual and physical union of the two. The couple is said to then make vows and seek blessings from God for love and prosperity in their marriage.
Like the others, the African tradition in tying a literal knot is also based in the symbolization of the unity and commitment of the couple. Writer Cortney Moore with brides.com shared that during the ceremony, the couple’s officiant have their wrists tied together with a Kente cloth, string of cowrie shells, braided grass or decorative rope. With the two tied together, they say their vows to confirm their commitment to each other.
There was also a few mentions of this being an ancient Egyptian practice that is not common in modern weddings.
This tradition (that morphed into an idiom and catchphrase for the wedding world) is simply rooted in the commitment of two people. Not everyone had (or even has today) the ability to have a big lavish ceremony, or maybe it was a simple need for symbolic gesture to mark the moment. It’s also poetic that this same idea has transcended cultures, geographical locations and the passing of time.
POP THE QUESTION
The whole idea for this blog originated with recently hearing someone use the phrases “pop the question” and realizing we had no idea of its original origin. “How did they pop the question?” is one of the first things you hear (maybe just after “let me see the ring”) following a couple becoming engaged.
Though engagements are something we’ve seen for hundreds of years, up until about the 18th century they, for the most part, were a contract between families, or for some other less-romantic reason. The 1700’s is when more love marriages began to grow in popularity as people took ownership over their romantic lives. At this time, the word “pop” or “to pop” was slang for “to say or do something with little warning.” If someone “popped” a question they were doing it without hesitation. So, when a gentlemen decided it was the time to ask someone to marry him, he would “pop” the question, asking a woman to marry him. It is reported that the first instances of this idiom being used in reference to a marriage proposal or engagement was also in the 1700’s and grew rapidly until the early 1800’s when it was fully immersed in British and American English and culture — finding a place in literature and etiquette books of the time. (Naturally, we tried to tie this one to Queen Elizabeth – the mother of modern wedding traditions – somehow to no avail.)
