My untraditional gift-giving is not for everyone – and that’s even before discussing my wrapping techniques (let’s just say Clarion Herald print and New Yorker cartoons are not just for Jefferson Parish recycling bins and Orleans trash cans).
In hopes of reaching more polite society, I have persuaded Kimberly, my most Instagramable (and Instagramming) friend, to make our season and blog a bit brighter. Kimberly and her @OliveJaneBlog convert clueless consumers into fabulous fashionistae, one IG story at a time. And she still manages to keep a day job!
Kimberly, what high-waisted, sequin-reversible joggers are the must-get of the season? An adoring public — and all my female relatives — have to know.
KIMBERLY:
Only 21 days until the most wonderful time of the year!
PETER:
Kimber, Christmas is like a week away – and with my Jesuit math, that’s definitely…a number of days fewer than 21. Are you celebrating with the Russian Orthodox calendar again?
KIMBERLY:
I prefer to worship the, may the odds be ever in your favor, race to score a spot on the neutral ground, the blissful smell of diesel in the air, the irrefutably divine Duong Phuong king cake, and the glorious tapping of St. Aug’s marching boots, but fine, let’s discuss “the holidays.”
PETER:
No doubt, Jesus would’ve loved Mardi Gras – though it would take a cold night for me to ladle any of his water-to-wine mixture. Before any of that, he needs to know if he’s sporting those sequined joggers on the Avenue.
KIMBERLY:
Speaking of Jesus, each year I promise myself that I’ll think of others first, while shopping the Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales. Lol. To His disappointment, each day thereafter, I hide until my UPS and FedEx porch frequenters pile up the boxes outside my front door, hoping they assume I am just a very generous gift giver.
And I am. Millennial self-care, if you will.
All that to say, if you are looking for a way to distract yourself from the thought of fielding the uncomfortable, personal questions about your future, c/o the Boomers, at the obligatory, annual family gatherings, or the comparison game upon receiving eleven hundred Christmas cards, with lists of the ages and new talents of little Grayson and his pet Goldendoodle, or the overwhelming amount of outfit ideas and sales you’re inundated with each day on social media (sorry — kind of), I have compiled a list of my favorite, selfish purchases that will surely make you look and feel your best during this holiday season.
Because what do we do when we are stressed? Add to cart!
PETER:
You have to admit Grayson become hypo-allergenic and his Goldendoodle learning the violin were card-turning twists.
KIMBERLY:
If only I had opened the envelope before tossing the card… Anyway, are you at a loss of what to wear to an upcoming company, family, or friend’s holiday party? Pair this vegan leather, paper bag waist skirt with a subtly embellished sweater, some patterned tights, and knee boots. This classy, yet trendy style will have you feeling cute, comfortable, and confident as you refill your glass and pile on the carbs. If you’re not interested in being complimented, this one is not for you.
PETER:
Oooh! I collect compliments. But what if that seems a little too Project Runway? I’m just a boy from Gentilly, after all.
KIMBERLY:
I doubt what you’d receive by wearing a skirt would be defined as a compliment, but who am I to judge Jesuit’s vocabulary curriculum?
To your other point: Enter the shearling invasion of 2021 to assist you in bringing your strongest casual game. Whether you choose the real deal, shearling, or sherpa (the synthetic, more affordable version) you can’t go wrong. It’s on everything from jackets, to shoes, to handbags, and I want it all! For now, I have limited myself to this sherpa sling bag, coat, and sneakers.
PETER:
As an added bonus, this outfit works for the family trip to the zoo. Shearling is one of the few items outside the diet of Valerio, that rambunctious, animal-loving jaguar. But just to be safe, can my feet have a run-away recommendation?
KIMBERLY:
Yes, step up your athleisure game, immediately! The fact that styling joggers, leggings, hoodies, and sneakers is appropriate in places other than the gym and/or on your couch, is a dream come true.
This Golden Goose–inspired pair will save you about $400, and this Target find will save you even more without sacrificing comfort. Personally, I love a matching set. Recently, my top selling items have been these joggers and the matching sweatshirt. On my Christmas list is this matching velour set. Welcome back to the 90’s, my friends.
PETER:
Can I be honest? I’d like to feed Golden Goose and its gilded price tag to Valerio, even at the risk of giving him a taste for shearling.
KIMBERLY:
Sounds like an excellent photo-op for your next Christmas card! I’d definitely display that one, or at the very least, open it. To wrap this up (lame pun intended), the holidays can be tough. Sometimes retail therapy helps, and I am always here to support you in that endeavor.
PETER:
I, for one, feel much more informed, especially after looking up all these new words in the dictionary (“athleisure” gets no red squiggly line underneath it, y’all!). We may not be headed to the Met Gala, but even a Metairie Christmas party now feels a little less intimidating.
I’m also guessing that’s a “no” for the high-waisted, sequin-reversible joggers…
Make sure to give Kimberly and her @OliveJaneBlog a follow for all your future fashion emergencies and everyday concerns.
Treat yo’ self this Christmas!
-30-
Pet peeve time: the 12 Days of Christmas begin — rather than end — on Christmas. As Kimberly looks forward to January 6th — which synonymously goes by King’s Day, Epiphany, and Little Christmas — 12 days after Christmas brings us to a whole new season. We were on this day long before any of those deluded Capitol crusaders, so the best way to prepare for our inundation of non-king-cake news on January 6th is to grip even harder onto our local traditions. File this link away for the 25th and the dozen days.
And on the Christmas card note, SNL was on it last week. NSFW — depending on your work — but I’m here for anything Kennan, Bowen Yang, and old dog. And Christmas card.
