Come gather ‘round Children

Who dine in this town

And celebrate all

The new places around

Rejoice that your favorites

Are most still around

And admit you’ve more options

Than you’ve ever had

‘Cause the restaurants are changin’


Come writers and critics

And tell us in prose

About menus combining  

Raw kale and gumbos

Ignore the high rents and

The front-of-house woes

‘Cause we’re riding the crest

Of the new foodie wave

And the restaurants are changin’


Come all politicians

And bow to the trend

For we all know for sure

This won’t ever end

We’ve got more places

Than we’ve ever had

And the trucks and the carts

And the popups to boot

For the restaurants are changin’


Come mothers and fathers

And lovers and friends

Go out to dinner

Every now and again

Just remember this lesson

When you leave the house

Get a sitter for toddlers

And mute your cell phone

‘Cause the restaurants are changin’


New restaurants open

And most of them last

They keep popping up;

Our selection is vast

But where are they finding

The servers and staff?

I don’t know but I’m glad

I’m no restaurateur

‘Cause the restaurants are changin’


I’m not entirely sure how one would go about nominating me for a Nobel Prize, but I’m sure one of you, dear readers, will figure it out. To be clear, it doesn’t have to be for literature. I will graciously accept any Nobel Prize, whether it be for physics, peace, economics, ping pong or medicine. I am not picky as long as it comes with a large sack of money. Which, of course, I would give to the needy. (As I define “needy,” anyway).

I know that the prizes have just been announced for 2016, but you can’t win if you’re not nominated, and apparently it’s considered bad form to nominate oneself, and they have very sophisticated methods of identifying IP addresses over there in Sweden.

I thank you, the little people who’ve made this all possible, in advance.