Come gather ‘round Children
Who dine in this town
And celebrate all
The new places around
Rejoice that your favorites
Are most still around
And admit you’ve more options
Than you’ve ever had
‘Cause the restaurants are changin’
Come writers and critics
And tell us in prose
About menus combining
Raw kale and gumbos
Ignore the high rents and
The front-of-house woes
‘Cause we’re riding the crest
Of the new foodie wave
And the restaurants are changin’
Come all politicians
And bow to the trend
For we all know for sure
This won’t ever end
We’ve got more places
Than we’ve ever had
And the trucks and the carts
And the popups to boot
For the restaurants are changin’
Come mothers and fathers
And lovers and friends
Go out to dinner
Every now and again
Just remember this lesson
When you leave the house
Get a sitter for toddlers
And mute your cell phone
‘Cause the restaurants are changin’
New restaurants open
And most of them last
They keep popping up;
Our selection is vast
But where are they finding
The servers and staff?
I don’t know but I’m glad
I’m no restaurateur
‘Cause the restaurants are changin’
I’m not entirely sure how one would go about nominating me for a Nobel Prize, but I’m sure one of you, dear readers, will figure it out. To be clear, it doesn’t have to be for literature. I will graciously accept any Nobel Prize, whether it be for physics, peace, economics, ping pong or medicine. I am not picky as long as it comes with a large sack of money. Which, of course, I would give to the needy. (As I define “needy,” anyway).
I know that the prizes have just been announced for 2016, but you can’t win if you’re not nominated, and apparently it’s considered bad form to nominate oneself, and they have very sophisticated methods of identifying IP addresses over there in Sweden.
I thank you, the little people who’ve made this all possible, in advance.
