I can’t be the only one – please tell me I’m not the only one – who starts a holiday weekend with such joy on Friday night only to find myself praying for the normalcy of the school-work routine by Monday night, right?

Remembering OT on Monday, swimming and soccer on Tuesday, library Wednesday, dress-up day Thursday, and snacks for the whole class on Friday … plus what days they want to bring their lunch because they don’t like the school menu, plus birthday parties (and gifts), plus making sure school uniforms are clean, plus trying to beat back squalor in my home, plus remembering dental appointments, plus … you know … my actual full-time job … well, it’s a lot.

And so on Friday, I came home excited for a weekend of no plans. I guess I had visions of family movie night or taking long walks with the dog or sleeping in or baking or lazy peaceful afternoons reading together.

And yes, we did some of that. I baked pumpkin scones and I gave the upstairs bathroom a long-overdue cleaning, and although it’s vaguely embarrassing that those things excite me, they do. We watched some Netflix, and we went swimming, and Georgia played in the sprinkler while Ruby went to roller derby practice.

But mostly? The girls fought. Not physically, but honestly, that might have been a relief if it ended the bickering.

They fought over the silliest, pettiest shit, and although I know it’s normal (or at least I’m told it’s normal), as an only child, I kind of want to bang their heads together and scream, “I GAVE YOU A BUILT-IN PLAYMATE! NOW GET ALONG AND PLAY, DAMMIT!”

On Monday, I couldn’t take it anymore and escaped to go to the grocery store, where I ended up in line behind – you guessed it – two bickering siblings.

“Dad, David hit meeeee!” wailed the girl.

“Oh, yeah, cryyyyy!” David yelled back. “Go on, crybaby! Cryyyyy!”

The father pinched the bridge of his nose and looked like he was praying for death, and honestly, I have never felt quite so close to a complete stranger.

By Monday night, I was counting down the hours until we’d be back in the normal swing of things and they’d go to school and I’d go to work where I could drink coffee in peace with no one whining at me that someone was on their side of the room.

Remembering that soccer and swimming are tomorrow is so much easier than constantly refereeing who is being mean to whom.

I will probably remember this for approximately two weeks … at which point I will start eagerly awaiting the long weekend of fall break. I’m sure we’ll spend it watching movies and playing board games and baking cookies … right?