Tito’s Ceviche & Pisco is open for lunch. That’s been true for some time, but it had escaped my notice and perhaps yours, as well. Thus, I mention it. Lunch runs from 11:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. during the week, and you can follow the link for more.

Alon Shaya’s new restaurant, Saba, will open next week at the corner of Magazine and Nashville. It replaces Kenton’s. I ran into Alon Shaya the other day, because that is how cool I am, and he said they’d be doing brunch as well as lunch and dinner. I am looking forward to checking it out.  

It occurred to me that if I could go back in time, I could take a high-resolution photograph of my naked torso in 1990 and use image-editing software to make a current image of appear much younger. It also occurred to me that I would be terrible at time travel.

I don’t know why anyone has a problem with the new techniques people are coming up with for cooking crawfish. I know that David Chang guy said some silly things, but I think he meant well overall, and beyond that, there are always going to be new approaches to traditional methods. Sometimes the new approach supersedes the old, sometimes they coexist, and sometimes the new approach turns out to be a turd. My bet is that Viet-Cajun crawfish coexists going forward.

Sometimes I get emails from people trying to convince me to promote some product or service. Infrequently I delve and find something worth writing about, and when that happens, I disclose anything I’ve been given. Sometimes, though, I get emails offering me things with an explicit quid pro quo.

I have no idea whatsoever whether “Three Bridges” pasta is any good. It is, I am told, a “chef-crafted pasta, sauce and meal brand that makes clean eating easy.” That makes me slightly uneasy to type, but I think perhaps I am not the target demographic for Three Bridges, which from my very brief perusal of the website looks terrible.

Normally when I get links to websites I find uninteresting I don’t mention it, because you are on your own with/re: finding uninteresting websites. But in this instance, there was more. In addition to asking me to write about the uninteresting-looking food on the uninteresting-looking website, these folks said that as “a token of our gratitude for enjoying our campaign,” I’d receive an “18 piece silicone cooking utensil set – a must have for every kitchen!”

My first thought was that I don’t know who I’ve been fooling with my kitchen, but I’d better get me some silicone cooking utensils in there pretty fast if I don’t want the neighbors to look askance at me. My second thought, though, was that I don’t want silicone cooking utensils and thirdly if I’m going to sell myself, I’m going to need a lot more than an 18 piece silicone cooking utensil set.

Call me arrogant, but I think I could demand 20 pieces at the very least.

As I was considering my response to the email, (I went with “Nope.”) I read on, and it turns out that to receive even the lowly 18 piece silicone cooking utensil set I would have to do the following:

  • Write a blog post telling your readers about how Three Bridges makes it easy to cook every day
  • Include a link to the Three Bridges website: www.threebridges.com
  • Share your post on your social media channels (don't forget to follow us @ThreeBridgesUSA)

The best part is that I don’t even have to write the blog post! The publicist who emailed me said, “If you’d like to participate, please respond back with your mailing address no later than April 30, as space is limited. Once I hear from you, I will send over suggested language for your post.”

I do not think this is the language they would have suggested.