Hey kids, do you like things? Do you like things that are happening soon? Then this column is for you! If you don't like things that are happening, or things that are happening soon, then you should probably go read The New Yorker or something. Maybe see about getting that VHS videotape of your high school graduation transferred to DVD or possibly drink a lot of vodka? I don't know. See that dustbin over there? The one labeled “history”? How about you go sit a spell in that, and the rest of us will enjoy THINGS THAT ARE HAPPENING.
Toups' Meatery is more than a place with an awesome name. Toups' Meatery is an awesome restaurant in Mid-City. Next week chef Isaac Toups and his crew will be cooking in New York City, at City Grit on Tuesday, July 23, 2013. You may be wondering why I'm writing about a meal being served in New York City. It is mainly because nobody can stop me from writing about New York City; I am incredibly powerful and everyone fears my wrath. (This has been fact-checked by my wife, Eve Peyton, who assures me that I am incredibly powerful, and that everyone fears my wrath.)
Also, Toups' doesn't get the attention it deserves. Whether that's because of its location off the beaten path in Mid-City or because people don't really understand the restaurant's name is an open question. Either way, the Meatery is one of the few Cajun restaurants in New Orleans that's worth visiting, and if you didn't think of it as a Cajun restaurant, maybe you should.
Anyway, here's the menu:
Chilled Louisiana Crab Salad
spaghetti, caviar, capers, tomato concasse
House-made fresh and cured meats and condiments to include:
rillons, Sazerac terrine, chaurice, headcheese,
smoked Magret duck tasso
Cane Sugar Glazed Duck Quarter
boudin en crépinette
duck heart Bordelaise, chicken liver mousse crostini
Steen’s cane syrup hand pies, blackberry ice cream
I'm not sure, but I'm pretty certain that bone marrow with duck heart Bordelaise and chicken liver mousse crostini is what they give you if you were real good when you were alive, and you die, and you go to Heaven.
In other news, I recently received a couple of phone calls from a phone number in Shreveport I didn't recognize. No messages, just missed calls on my cell phone. This afternoon I got another call from the same number and answered.
I am incredibly powerful and feared by many, but I'm not under the impression that I am the most important man in the world. Still, and I hope this doesn't offend any of you, the things I write here are lower on my list of priorities than my legal practice and neither compare to my family. Put another way, I love you folks, but not in a “I'm gonna marry you” sort of way. More of a “Hey, that was nice, now get out of my Trans Am” sort of way.
In that context, the phone call I got this afternoon, which was from a publicist for a deli chain whose name rhymes with “McFallister's,” was pretty annoying. “Did you get our press release?” she asked. I had no idea, because assuming I did get a press release from this chain, I'm pretty sure I deleted it. Nothing inherently wrong with the chain, I guess, but it's not what I write about and of no interest to me in any other context. I told the young woman that I'd be sure to double-check my emails to see if I'd gotten that special press release, and that I'd see if I could work it into a story. I didn't say how I'd work it in…
I don't know why getting phone calls from PR folks on my cell annoys me as much as it does, because again, it's not like my time is so valuable that it's some sort of tragedy that I had to spend three minutes on the phone. I should probably seek some sort of help. Anyway, if you're reading this and considering calling me to ask if I've received your informative brochure or some such, maybe reconsider?