I rarely go to the movies anymore, because as I get older, I get more picky. I won't watch depressing films because life can be depressing enough on its own. Why do I need a reminder? Also, I don't exactly like crying in public, those movies always make me sob uncontrollably and my friend or date sitting beside me has to be like, "it's okay! It's not real! It's Oscar-bait!" And then after the movie, I can't talk for a few hours. Too many feels.

I won't be doing that anymore.

Also, no horror movies in theaters. If I watch one, it has to be at home, where I can have a pause or fast-forward button in my hand. Does that make me weak? Maybe, but I care not.

So If I go to see something, it means I'm dying to see it. And if I see it on opening weekend, it means that I've probably been looking forward to it for months and months, and can't stand the idea of waiting yet another week – as it might cause physical pain.

The last movie that I saw in the theater on opening weekend was "Cinderella" – at the surprisingly charming and unpretentious Chalmette Movies. I get a blue icee every time I go there, and I hear you get free refills on certain popcorn – though I've never actually done that, it's just one of those things. Popcorn always seems like such a good idea when you walk into the theater and the first few bites are glorious, but then about a quarter through the movie, you start wondering why you're feeling ill. You realize that it's because you're mindlessly shoveling popcorn-shaped salt into your mouth. After the first layer of popcorn (with the butter) is gone, it just doesn't matter anymore.

Anyway, I went to see "Cinderella" as it was my favorite Disney movie when I was little. I was Cinderella for Halloween at least three times, because I loved the dress that my grandmother made me so much. This was definitely one of those films that warranted an opening-weekend ticket. Also, I took my stepdaughter with me because I thought it would be all ironic and stuff. After the movie, I told her that if she ever wanted to marry Richard Madden (the prince), that I would never be an evil stepmother and stand in her way – because damn, those were some blue eyes and I want her to be happy.

But having said all that—if I go to a movie on opening weekend, or more specifically, the hour it comes out, it means that life pretty much depends on it. It means that I've been in the fandom for years. It means that I've probably read all the books/comics, watched any other movie that goes with it a hundred times and looked up gifs on Tumblr. It means that I'm kind of a nut, and I have no regrets about that – doesn't bother me in the least.

So that is why I had to see "Avengers: Age of Ultron" last Thrusday night, at the earliest available time.

The problem is, however, that after years of going to midnight viewings ("Star Wars", "Harry Potter", etc.), I've started to get tired of feeling like being in a herd of cattle, having to stand in various lines for long periods of time before I even get to sit down, and then it's a mad rush to find a good spot. I mean, I'll do it, but I don't want to.

This is why I chose to go to The Theaters at Canal Place, the Cadillac of movie theaters, where you can pick your own seat on-line like you would when buying a plane ticket. I loved it because I was guaranteed a spot, and also, more importantly, there were no lines to stand in. Not standing ina line meant no herds of cattle, as pretty much everyone knew where they were going.

I had been to this theater exactly one time, when my husband took me on a nice anniversary date to see "Only Lovers Left Alive"—a movie about vampires who pretty much do nothing but sleep. It was a compromise. My husband was happy because he likes the director (Jim Jarmusch), and I was happy because I got to see Tom Hiddleston and Tilda Swinton play vampires. Honestly, it was probably the only way Jarmusch would ever get me to see another one of his films – as his films are boring to anyone who is not a male, hipstery movie nerd, who's favorite pastimes include brooding and acting cool. But I digress.

I loved the theater because it was swank and made me feel like I was watching a movie while on a luxurious spaceship. Also, having a server while you're watching a movie is pretty damn cool. You don't want to stand in a line for popcorn? Fine. Press a button and someone will appear to take your order. It was all very strange to me; push a button and get exactly what you want. I imagine this is what George Clooney feels like all the time. I could get used to this. But then my husband and I realized that we'd spent over $50 on movie tickets and a couple glasses of wine, and we were thought, 'yep, Chalmette Movies will do just fine.'

But for "Age of Ultron"? I didn't mind. I wanted to see that movie on a luxurious spaceship, where I could have minions if I pressed buttons. I wanted to pick out my own seat, the BEST seat—in the back towards the middle. I wanted the Cadillac of movie theaters, because I am the Marvel Cinematic Universe's bitch, and I don't care.

And as soon as I was escorted to my seat and handed a menu, do you know what I found?



I melted into a fangirl pile of goo, people. A pile of goo!

I, of course, ordered a "Thor", because it contained ginger beer and I love that stuff … and also, because Thor.


And do you know what else I learned? They can layer the butter for you when you order popcorn … so the bottom layer is just as good and tasty as the top layer. Holy. Shit. It was fangirl heaven up in there last Thursday night.

God bless you, Theaters at Canal Place. God bless you.

Now as to what I thought of the actual movie? I loved it. I FLOVED IT. It was a fun movie to watch and I want to go back and see it a few more times—but I understand why the movie is getting criticism from the fans. I either talk to people who loved it, or to people who found it very problematic, nothing in the middle. But I think that's okay, because it seems as if "Captain America: Civil War" has already started within the fandom. Nice play, MCU. Nice play.

So if anyone out there in the blogosphere has yet to see "Age of Ultron", and wants the ultimate experience of watching the Avengers assemble while in a movie theater spaceship complete with minions, I totally recommend seeing it at the Theaters at Canal Place.

But for a nice casual viewing? Chalmette Movies does just fine.