Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)

Question: If your son’s wedding is a destination wedding with a limited number of guests, is it OK to ask friends to the engagement party that will not be receiving an invitation to the wedding? 

Answer: The hard and fast rule when it comes to all of the parties leading up to the wedding is that anyone invited to pre-wedding parties is also invited to the wedding. The exception is office parties. (Related: Coworkers shouldn’t expect wedding invitations). Since it’s customary to invite only those attending the wedding to the engagement party, if a guest later isn’t invited to the party, they may think they committed an offense. Most pre-wedding parties are smaller and more intimate by nature, so it won’t seem odd to have a small engagement party, in which the guests are only family and very close friends. As the guest list evolves, people who are added outside the immediate family and friends can be invited to subsequent showers and gatherings leading up to the Big Day, even if that day is held in an exotic or otherwise far flung locale.

Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.