Wediquette Wednesday: Are the bride’s parents obligated to house the bridesmaid’s spouses?

Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. This week, we have a reader question about housing the bridesmaid’s spouses.


Question: For a destination wedding, what are the bride’s parents responsibility insofar as housing the bridesmaids, groomsmen, and or their spouses? We have planned to put the bride-to-be and her attendants in two hotel rooms, but three of the bridesmaids are married. Are we required to reserve separate rooms for the married attendants? If so, for both the night of Rehearsal and Wedding? Thanks for your guidance!

Answer: For a destination wedding, traditionally the bride’s parents would pay to house the bridesmaids for the rehearsal and the wedding. However, with many couples waiting until they are in their 30’s and 40’s to get married, attendants often are already cohabitating or are married. The verdict is out among etiquette experts with some advising parents or couples (if they are footing the bill) to pay for the spouse or domestic partner as well or to offer to split the cost with the couple. It really depends on the budget in play. If you are able to spring for extra rooms for the married attendants, go for it. If the housing budget is tighter, offer to pay for half if able, or let the attendants know early enough that two rooms will be provided for the attendants and the bride. Either way, it’s important to let everyone know far in advance, so that they can either make room in their own budget for all or part of the expenses or bow out gracefully with no hard feelings.


Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email


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