Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)


Question: My fiancé and I both have several friends who are serving as bridesmaids and groomsmen that live out of town. Are we supposed invite out-of-town wedding attendants to all of the showers?

Answer: As a rule, attendants don’t have to attend all of the showers. Typically, they would attend the engagement party (if they have already committed to being in the wedding) and the shower thrown by the maid- or matron-of-honor. After that, any others would be attended at their own discretion. Consider sending invitations to all of the showers, so they have the option, but let everyone know (ideally when you ask them to be in the wedding, but if it’s too late for that, perhaps in a mass email to all attendants) that while you’d love to see them at every party and shower, you understand that it may not be possible due to work and family schedules and budgets. That way, they know what’s expected and they can plan accordingly.


Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.