Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. This week, we’re running an excerpt from Dee Lane’s etiquette column in our New Orleans Bride Magazine Winter/Spring 2017 issue.
Question: I have a few weddings to attend this summer and am wondering if it’s rude to add “and guest” to my reply card. I’ve always thought that it would be appreciated, but recently I mentioned that I was going to do so to a friend of mine’s maid of honor and she flipped out on me. Am I wrong?
Answer: If the bride and groom wanted a single friend of theirs to bring a guest, the outer envelope would be addressed to the friend and the inner envelope would read “Miss Smith and Guest.”
If your invitation doesn’t have “and Guest” on it, and you aren’t married or living with your romantic partner, then under no circumstances should you bring someone along with you — or, for that matter, call the bride or groom and ask if you can.
Doing either is considered rude and can lead to awkward conversations about the wedding party’s finances. The only caveat to this is if you’ve recently moved in with your romantic partner or became engaged, it’s OK to ask the bride or groom. However, you should explain the situation, and if they say you cannot you shouldn’t argue, threaten to not come (this is the height of rudeness) or make a stink.
The short answer here is: Respect the bride and groom’s decision; wedding planning, especially decisions on the guest list, is very difficult and as a guest your job is to do your very best to lessen that stress.
Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.
