Wediquette Wednesday: Can I change my R.S.V.P. to ‘no,’ due to spikes in COVID cases and Delta variant concerns?

Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)


Question: My friend’s wedding is in two weeks. Originally, I planned to attend, given that I’m vaccinated, COVID-19 cases had dropped and the city was more open. With the Delta variant, recent spike in cases and mask advisories in place however, I’m having second thoughts. Can I change my R.S.V.P. to ‘no,’ due to spikes in COVID cases and Delta variant concerns?

Answer: As mentioned in the past, I’d normally caution against cancelling this close to the event, unless it’s an emergency. But the pandemic has changed the course of even the most basic wedding etiquette. We are making it up as we go and responding to the latest news and developments as needed. Call your friend right away to tell her about the change in your R.S.V.P. Be honest about your discomfort, but don’t pass judgement on her plans to move forward. Let her know this is a personal decision, that you hope she can understand and that you hope her Big Day is lovely. Be sure to send along your gift and a card if you haven’t already. We all have to be flexible at this time and cancellations due to COVID concerns, especially since it’s early enough remove your meal with the catering company. Taking things as they come and proceeding with compassion is the best we can do right now.


Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email



Digital Sponsors

Become a sponsor ...