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Wediquette Wednesday: Can I change my ‘yes’ R.S.V.P. to ‘no,’ due to the Delta surge?


Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)

Question: A family friend is getting married in about two weeks. Originally, I planned to attend, given vaccinations and everything opening back up. With the Delta surge, number of unvaccinated people, chance of breakthrough infections and so many concerns however, I’m having second thoughts. Can I change my ‘yes’ R.S.V.P. to ‘no,’ due to the Delta surge?

Answer: Normally, I’d caution against cancelling this close to the event, unless it’s an emergency. But the pandemic has caused us to tweak the usual etiquette as we all learn to navigate and cope with the latest twists and turns. If you are having second thoughts, call your friend as soon as possible about the change in your R.S.V.P. Be honest about your level of discomfort, but don’t pass judgement on the plans to move forward. Indicate that this is a personal decision, you hope they can understand and that you hope the Big Day is lovely. Be sure to send along your gift and a card if you haven’t already. We all have to be flexible at this time and cancellations like yours, especially since it’s early enough remove your meal with the catering company, can — hopefully — be taken in stride.


Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.




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