Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)
Question: My cousin is getting married in a few weeks. She and her fiancé put “your presence is our present” on the wedding website and as an insert in the invitation. We are really close and I hate the idea of not giving her a gift. Gifting is my love language! Can I give a wedding present if the couple said no gifts?
Answer: If the couple hadn’t specifically requested that guests forgo gifts, I’d encourage you to send one in advance of the wedding. But, it’s important to follow the couple’s wishes, so even though you really want to give them a present, fight the urge. This is what they want — even if it’s not what you’d want — so respect their request. If it’s absolutely killing you to refrain from gifting, you could offer to treat your cousin and her new spouse out for a fun lunch or dinner when they get back from the honeymoon.
Listen to the latest episode of the new “The Wediquette: A Let Them Eat Cake Podcast,” here, on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
