Wediquette Wednesday: Can the couple host the rehearsal dinner?

Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)

Question: My fiancée and I have been together for years and have cohabitated for much of that time. We both do well financially and are paying for our wedding and the related celebrations. Our parents have generously offered to co-host the rehearsal dinner and, while we know traditionally the groom’s family hosts it, we’d prefer doing it ourselves. The wedding isn’t going to be traditional, so we haven’t really worried too much about the usual traditional elements. Can the couple host the rehearsal dinner? 

Answer: It’s lovely that your parents offered to co-host the rehearsal dinner, but it’s not a requirement. These days, parents, anyone else in the family or the couple can host the rehearsal. Thank your parents for their generosity and gently assert that you are looking forward to treating them and thanking them for everything they’ve done to raise both of you and support you in your lives and your relationship. Let them know how much you appreciate them and request that they simply show up and have a good time.  

Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email

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