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Wediquette Wednesday: Can we ask for gifts of money toward a house instead of doing a traditional wedding registry?

Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)

Question: My fiancé and I have been together for five years and have cohabitated for the past three. We have everything we need for our home, which we currently lease, but eventually would like to buy a house. We’d much rather get cash gifts for our wedding, so we can put it toward a down payment when the time comes. Can we ask for money toward a house instead of doing a traditional wedding registry?

Answer: Cash gifts have always been a wedding staple, but traditionally it was considered crass to ask. The tide is turning however and according to a Washington Post report The Knot’s senior director of brand communications Melissa Bach says, “the number of couples requesting cash on registries created in the first quarter of 2022 increased by 10 percent compared with the same period in 2021.” The report goes on to describe similar trends from the wedding and planning site Zola. Sites like the Knot and Zola, as well as registry apps, make it easy to create cash registries, which takes the guesswork and awkwardness out for couples. Simply not creating a registry typically leads guests to inquire, which affords couples the opportunity to share that they would appreciate cash gifts for a down payment on a new home, but would be grateful for any gift. Be sure to share your wishes with close family and the bridal party, so they can spread the word as well. 

Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.

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