Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)
Question: My niece is getting married next month and we just got the wedding invitation in the mail. My husband and I are both listed on the outer, addressed envelope and also on the inner envelope. Our children, ages 5 and 9, are not listed anywhere on the invitation. We have heard through the grapevine that the reception is adults only, but we’d really like to bring our children. They just love their aunt and they love dancing. Can we bring our children to my niece’s wedding if they aren’t listed on the invitation?
Answer: The wedding invitation is your gateway to information about the event. The who, what, where, when and how are generally all found inside. That includes who is or isn’t invited, which is indicated by who is listed on the interior envelope. If it only has your husband’s name and your name, then you are the only ones invited to the event. If you’ve also heard that the reception is adults only, this is reinforcement of the information gleaned from the invitation. There are several reasons why couples opt for an adult reception. Perhaps they simply want friends and family to be able to cut loose for the evening and not worry about kiddos. Maybe their budget only allows for a certain number of guests and the easiest trim was to go with adults only. Regardless, it’s important to respect the couple’s wishes on the matter and be sure not to ask them whether or not you can bring the children, even though the invitation and rumors say otherwise, because that puts undue pressure on them to accommodate anyone who asks. Think of this as an opportunity for you and your husband to have a date night and kick up your heels without the little ones.
Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.
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