Wediquette Wednesday: Do I Have to Agree to a Bachelorette Bar Crawl?

Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. This week, we’re talking bachelorette parties.


Question: My fabulous bridesmaids are working overtime to make my pre-wedding festivities perfect. I really couldn’t have better friends. There’s only one problem. They want to throw me a wild bachelorette bar crawl complete with hotel rooms in the Central Business District or the French Quarter, matching outfits and a pre-party at a wine bar. A wild night of drinking just doesn’t sound appealing, which probably makes me a party pooper, but that’s the way I feel. I’d much rather just do something low-key, but I don’t want to hurt their feelings. Do I have to agree to a bachelorette bar crawl?


Answer: It’s wonderful that your friends are going all out for you. A raucous bachelorette party isn’t for everyone. Ask your maid of honor to coffee or lunch to discuss it. Thank her and the other ladies for their hard work and let her know how much you appreciate everything they’ve done so far and everything they have coming up. Gently remind her that you really aren’t into the idea of partying hard and ask if perhaps there’s something else they had in mind besides the big night out. She likely already knows this, since she is your friend and is familiar with your personality. It’s possible that your friends are planning the night on the town, because that’s what a lot of people do. If she asks for suggestions, a spa day, pizza and champagne pajama party, the wine tasting they had on the schedule, a weekend at the beach or even just an elegant dinner at a favorite restaurant are all great ways to bond with your bridesmaids. If they are still insistent on reliving your college days, strap on your party hat and make the best of it!


Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email


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