Wediquette Wednesday: Do I have to give my friend’s awful boyfriend a plus one to my wedding?
Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)
Question: My friend has been seeing her boyfriend for about eight months. Not one person in our friend group likes him. He’s controlling, pompous, no fun to be around and frankly doesn’t treat her the way she deserves to be treated. We’ve had heart-to-hearts about it and she understands where I’m coming from and appreciates that I love her and want the best for her, but she is not ready to give up on the relationship. She’s in my bridal party, but honestly, we’d rather not have him at the wedding or reception. Do I have to give my friend’s awful boyfriend a plus one to my wedding?
Answer: Unfortunately, disliking a friend’s boyfriend, partner or spouse isn’t really grounds to disallow a plus one. However, if they are not married or do not live together, you have a little more wiggle room and are not obligated to offer a plus one. I would recommend mentioning this to your friend, before the invitation arrives however, so that she isn’t caught off guard by it. Since you’ve been candid about this in the past, you should be able to discuss it openly. Let her know you really want her to be able to focus on being a bridesmaid, having a great time and to not worrying about whether or not he is enjoying the evening, and also — if it’s true — maybe toss out that eliminating some plus ones was a great way to help with your budget. If you enter into the conversation with the right intention, hopefully she will be at peace with it and can let her hair down for the evening.
Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.